Let's move on now...
to the big storyrocking the world right now.
It's the news out of Britain.
Britain, home of the Queen,
cricket,and the world's worst weaves.
Last week in a referendum,
British people votedto leave the European Union,
which, uh,you're probably aware of,
because all your friendson Facebook
are suddenly expertson British politics.
Yeah, even though the lastBritish event they commented on
was the series finaleof Downtown Abbey but whatever.
Now, For those of those...for those of you
who don't pretendto know what's going on, uh,
most European countries belongto the European Union, right?
It's a partnershipthat lets them trade freely
with each other,and allows citizens
to live and workin each others' countries.
The EU is basicallyfriends with benefits,
but instead of bodily fluids,
they're exchanginggoods and services.
That's what's happening.
Now, the thing is,in the-in the last few years,
more and more British peoplehave gotten fed up
with the EU, uh, especiallybecause it doesn't let Britain
control its ownimmigration policy.
So Thursday, 52% of themvoted to leave the EU.
What they didn't realize was,
they were also voting for moneyto leave the UK.
It would be hard to overestimate
both the shock andthe consequences of this vote.
It has sent the marketsinto chaos across the globe.
WOMAN: The pound has fallen to its lowest level
against the dollar since 1985.
Serves you right.(chuckles)
Yeah, because Nationalistsare always insisting
on chasing peopleout of their country--
forgetting that you'realso chasing the foreigner cash
out with them.
"I'll tell you what we don'tneed in this country,
"a lot of bloody foreignerscoming in
"and making things worse.
"Get out of here,you bloody foreigners.
"Go on. Go... oh, wait,where's the money going?
"Where's the money going?
"Where's the money?
"Oh, I didn't know your moneyspoke Portuguese.
Come back, come back,come back!"
-Look, now this is really aconfusing situation. -(laughter)
Some believe that the UKis headed for disaster.
Some believe the economywill stabilize over time.
And some don't even know whatthe hell they were voting for.
The second most Googled terminside the UK is,
"What is the European Union?"
-Adam, you voted to leave.-I did.
What are you thinking right now?
I didn't thinkthat was gonna happen.
My vote I didn't thinkwas gonna matter too much,
'cause I thoughtwe were just gonna remain.
I voted out.
I don't really thinkthat we should have, really.
-So maybe you're regretting yourvote now this morning? -Yeah.
The whole family this morning,even though the majority of us
voted to leave, we are actuallyregretting it today.
I wish we had the opportunityto vote again,
simply because I would do somany things differently.
"Yeah, I didn't realizethat it was a real vote.
"I just thought we were testingif the pens worked. Yeah.
"I didn't even knowthat votes counted, yeah?
"Wait. If voting is real,
"then why do we have a queenanyway, yeah?
"Yeah, and why does she getto live in a nice house?
"You know what? I say we vote onwhether or not we have a queen.
Come on, everybody!Our votes count. Yeah!"
(cheers and applause)
You know what?
I don't blame British people
for not understandingwhat they were voting for,
'cause this is something
that has perplexed mefor a long time.
I mean, they calledthis whole thing "Brexit."
Who the hell came upwith that name? Brexit.
"Brexit" does not sound like adecision to sever economic ties
that would have a lastinggeopolitical consequence.
"Brexit" sounds like
what a hipster namestheir second-born son.
-That's what Brexit is.-(laughter)
"Uh, this is Maxand this is Brexit.
Brexit's the one with the beard,yeah, yeah."
Like, "Brexit" sounds likebrunch for people on the go.
"Should we have bunch?"
"I only have 20 minutes.Let's do Brexit."
-That's what it sounds like.-(laughter)
People, can we agreeon something in society?
If we have an important issue,
let's give itan important-sounding name.
For instance, back in the day,
when Lincoln made the casefor the abolition of slavery,
I'm not sure he would have hadthe same outcome
if he was like, "So, you guysdown for slexit?
-Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?"-(laughter)
You gotto make it sound important.
And what's really scary here isthat there were some people
who knew exactlywhat they were voting for.
And they didn't necessarily wantBritain to leave the EU,
but they just feltthat the vote was the only way
that they could expresstheir frustration.
What you just heardwas a protest vote,
and there were a lot of those--
people, you know,who were fed up
with the elitestelling them what to do.
MAN: Robert says he was trying to get politicians to listen
when he voted leave.
They come around scroungingfor your vote...
(speaking indistinctlywith thick accent)
Yeah. Just think about whatthat man said for a minute.
And see if it doesn't changeyour perspective.
Think about it.
I'm sorry. I realize
some of you might nothave understood his accent.
Can we play that againwith subtitles please?
-(applause and cheering)-Yeah.
I know because of his accent,
the situation seemsreally funny,
but this guy voted purposefully
to shock the systembecause he was angry.
Either that,or the fish is on sale.
I don't know, but I'm goingto go with the former.
And that man's sentimentis not unique to the UK.
There are many people all overthe world, including the U.S.,
who feel disenfranchised,they feel ignored.
And they're willing to votefor something completely crazy
because they think it will bebetter than what they have.
So Britain,I need to ask you a favor.
If you are going to collapse
into a scone-less,post-apocalyptic hell-scape,
please could you do itbefore America's election day?
-Just so that...-(applause and cheering)
Just so that the people herecan learn from your mistakes.