Blacklash 2016: The Unblackening - Donald Trump's Financial Woes

June 22, 2016 - M1 06/22/2016 Views: 1,946

As Donald Trump's presidential campaign runs out of cash, Hillary Clinton slams the GOP candidate for his questionable business acumen. (8:34)

-(cheering continues)-Hey! Thank you very much!

Thank you very much! Yeah!Welcome to The Nightly Show!

Yes!

Thank you very much.Please have a seat.

So kind.Such a kind audience.

-(cheering continues)-I know, I know.

I'm your host, Larry Wilmore.

Uh, man,we have such a good show.

Rapper M1 is on the paneltonight, guys.

-(cheering, applause)-I am so excited about that.

Mm. Mm.

Now, I have to say, um,when I think of Charlie Rose,

um, I think of two things.

Number one,international sex symbol.

-(laughter)-Number two...

True. Accomplished journalist,right?

So here he is this week askingJoe Biden about the Middle East,

and it seemsJoe Biden has confusion

about who's interviewing whom.

We've had a problem overthrowingthese dictators,

like Mubarak and like Gaddafiand like Saddam.

Would we have been better offif they'd stayed?

My question was, okay...tell me what happens.

He's gone. What happens?

Doesn't the countrydisintegrate?

What happens then?

Okay, I know what the first stepis, and the second step.

What's the thirdand fourth step?

(laughter)

Hmm. Uh, I'll tell youwhat the fifth step is.

Answer the questions!

You answer the questions.

Actually, to be fair,Biden is prepping

for his ownpost-White House show,

Afternoon Joe with Joe Biden: I'll ask the (bleep) questions.

(whooping, applause)

All right. Moving on.

This week wasthe summer solstice,

giving us the shortest nightsof the year.

And speaking of making(bleep) less dark,

let's check in with what'shappening with The Unblackening.

(applause)

Ah, my favorite song. Mm-hmm.

Now, it seems that Donald Trumphas taken the de-Negrofication

of the White House so literally,even his finances are moving

out of the blackand into the red.

NEWSMAN: With just months to go before the general election,

it looks like the Trump campaign

is essentially broke.

NEWSWOMAN: Financial reports show the Trump campaign

started June with just over $1 million in cash on hand

while Hillary Clinton had $42 million.

(laughing):Ooh...

-(whooping, applause)-man!

Forty... Oh, my God!

Hillary's cashoutnumbers Trump's

by a factor of 42?

Which, ironically, will bethe same as the age difference

between Trumpand his future fourth wife.

(laughter)

-(applause)-That's, uh...

Sure. Look out,Slavic ladies born in 1987.

(laughter)

Now, Trump's financial woesseem especially ironic

given Trump's tweetfrom less than a month ago

from his campaign.

Uh, and I quote,"more cash than any campaign

in the history of politics."

Meaning hissocial media presence

is even more dishonestthan mine.

(laughter)

Sorry, Nancy,but I didn't want you to have

the best birthday ever.

-(laughter)-I was lying.

Still, if Trump's lack of cashseems hard to believe,

wait until you hear how he spentthe money he does have.

NEWSMAN: Other glaring findings this month--

17% of the campaign spending was dished out

to Trump-related entities,

like when the campaign rents space

from a Trump property for an event.

Okay, here's whatthey're talking about.

In May, Trump paid $423,000

to his own palatialFlorida estate, Mar-a-Lago.

Okay? Let me break this down.

So, here's candidate Trumprunning for president, right?

And then here are the peopledonating to candidate Trump.

"Yay! Take our money!We're stupid!" Right? Okay.

(laughter)

-(applause)-And here...

-(whooping, shouting)-All right, hold on. All right.

And candidate Trump,candidate Trump says,

"Yeah, I'm gonna take that moneyand throw a big campaign event.

"How about that big,tacky, gaudy, (bleep)..."

And then businessman Trump says,"Oh, good,

I own that big, tacky,gaudy, (bleep)...

Okay? So then businessman Trump

charges candidate Trumpfull price.

-(laughter)-Right?

So both Trumps profitwhile America takes the loss.

(audience groans)

That's calledthe Mar-a-Lago Shuffle.

It's a classic grift.

(laughter)

And Mar-a-Lago isn't the onlyplace he's running this grift.

When you searchhis campaign's financial records

for the word "Trump,"you find over a dozen

self-titled companiesgetting money from the campaign.

I mean, this politicalshell game is so transparent.

It's why I don't name anyof my scam companies for myself.

-(laughter)-Mm. I don't.

-(whooping, applause)-That is so obvious.

It's... guys, no,I give them weird names

like Bizzflash Strategiesand...

Exocorp Corplutions...

and Quiznos.

-(laughter)-Uh-huh.

Yeah, that's right, bitches.

Didn't know I owned Quiznos,did you?

That's right, I do. Yeah.

Quiznos. The sandwich chain

that didn't accidentallyhitch its wagon

to a child molesterfor 15 years.

(laughter, whooping, applause)

And it's toasted. Mmm.

Okay. We gonna get in troublefor that one.

(laughter)

It's true, it's true.

We didn't do it, right?

We did not. We did not.

All we did was enjoythe sandwiches. Okay.

And with all this talkabout Trump's shady finances,

the Benghazi Kid took the podiumto set Donald straight, okay?

And she even made,like, a Celes...

Celestial Seasoningsvariety pack

and offered some zingers.

He's written a lot of booksabout business.

They all seem to endat Chapter 11.

(shouts, laughter, whooping)

Ooh...

Yeah, if there's one thingthat'll make Hillary

seem less stiffon the campaign trail,

it's quoting from the 101 Hilarious Accountant Jokes.

(laughter)

Well done, Hillary, well done.

But that wasn't Hillary'sonly slam.

Hillary Clinton called youthe king of debt.

Well, no, she didn't call me,I call myself the king of debt.

I'm the king of debt.I'm great with debt.

Nobody knows debtbetter than me.

I've made a fortuneby using debt.

(laughter)

This man has no shame, you guys!

He's actually proud of debt.

I've never seen anybody turnmore (bleep) into fool's gold

-than Donald Trump.-(laughter)

You know, maybewhen you're that orange,

it just feels comfortable beingin the red. I don't get it.

-Right?-(whooping, applause)

(groans)All right.

Okay. So, here to tell us more

about his recentcampaign finance troubles

is the Republican nomineehimself, Donald Trump.

(cheering, applause)

All right, uh, now, Mr. Trump,how do you explain

your campaign finances?

I mean, they seem so dismal.

Excuse me, excuse me.You're dismal, okay?

(laughter)

My finances, they're fantastic.

I mean, they'reat an all-time high

of being at an all-time low.

(laughter)

They're the highest finances

in terms of lowness, okay,you'll ever find, okay?

-(laughter)-Believe me, believe me.

-(whooping, applause)-Um...

that doesn't even make sense!

-Look, when it comesto my finances, -Uh-huh.

-I am completely in the black,okay? -Right.

Which, by the way, is the onlyblack I'd ever be in, okay?

-(audience ooh'ing)-So, uh...

sorry... sorry, Omarosa,but, uh, not gonna happen, okay?

Okay, that's revolting,all right?

And, okay, now,how come you don't care

about your campaign'smoney troubles?

-You just... -BecauseI am the king of debt, okay?

-Right. -I am number oneat world-class debt.

Ask anybody in Atlantic City,they'll tell you.

I mean, when you're Trump,losing is the ultimate form

of winning.

All right, so you admit yourcandidacy is just a-an excuse

to funnel moneyinto the Trump empire?

That's right. It's genius,isn't it? It, uh,

as The New York Times reported last night,

I paid over a million dollarsto my businesses

and family members in May alone.

Hell, I even paid my son Eric,and he's a (bleep) idiot.

Um... all right.

I think we're trying...

we're starting to findcommon ground here.

But that's really not somethingto brag about, really.

But look, look,he's the most unbelievable

-fantastic idiot you'veever met, believe me. -Okay.

He's a Trump, he's a Trump.

So, look, the American people,they like me because, look,

I'm the only person in history

running asa "true American", okay?

Look, I'm in this to get rich.I'm piling up massive debt

and I'm leaving a trailof cheap memorabilia

in my wake, okay?

Wow, you're right.

That does sound American.I guess we deserve it.

Donald Trump, everybody.We'll be right back.