Oh, and by the way,if you're one of those people
who thought Donald Trump wouldmagically give up Twitter
once he was elected,uh, think again.
Because this weekend he gave usa definitive answer.
And-and this is real.
In one weekend, thepresident-elect tweeted
about Taiwan, a plant in Indianasending jobs to Mexico,
and then, for some reason,tweeted about Tiger Woods.
Uh, tweeted about Chinadevaluing its currency.
He bitched about Saturday Night Live,
called Jill Stein a con artist
then, of course,plugged a rerun
of a Fox News specialabout his apartment.
And went on to tweet stormabout America's trade policies.
I mean,this guy has so many tweets,
this guy is on the toilet a lot.
-I-I don't know.-(laughter)
And-and if you're one of thosepeople who's freaked out
about Donald Trump's tweeting,I understand.
Because usually there's protocolto the presidency.
A president will announceappointments in the Rose Garden.
You console the nationfrom the Oval Office.
But for Trump,everything's on Twitter.
And he tweets with the samegravity about Alec Baldwin
as he does abouta trillion dollar trade war.
And I understand for many peoplethis is not normal.
It feels like Trumpis being too casual
with the highest officein the land; it's not normal.
It's like seeing the queenin sweat pants.
It's not normal.
It looks dopebut it's not normal.
I would mess with that queen,but it's not normal.
And I'm not going to lie.
There's not much Donald Trumpcan do to surprise me any more.
I'm not surprised, I'm not.
And you know,people always ask me.
They go, "Trevor, are youafraid of Donald Trump?"
Are you afraid of Don--I'm not afraid of Donald Trump.
I'm afraid of the peoplewho support Donald Trump,
and I'm not referringto his voters.
I'm speaking about the peopleon his team,
the people who enable him,
'cause they knowwhat he's doing.
They know when he'sdoing something wrong.
Here's my view,a drunk is a drunk,
but the person who encourageshim to drive, that's an asshole.
And Trump has a lot of assholesaround him.
(cheering and applause)
President-elect Trump has beenquite active on Twitter.
He said he would have won the popular vote
if he deducted the millions of people who voted illegally.
Is it responsible for a president-elect
to make false statements like that?
I think one of the thingsthat's refreshing
about our president-elect...
He tells you what's on his mind.
I'm-I'm sorry, Mike Pence,
but I don't thinkMike Pence understands
what the word"refreshing" means.
Refreshing is an ice cold sorbetat the end of your meal.
Refreshing is a personwho actually looks
like their Tinder profile.
Claiming the election was stolenis not refreshing,
it's irresponsibleand dangerous.
It undermines your democracy.
And Mike Pence knows that.
And yet he still says this.
He tells you what'sin his heart.
Why is it refreshing to makefalse statements?
Well, uh, look, I-I don't know
that that is a false statement,George, and neither do you.
The simple fact is that there...
-I know there's no evidencefor it. -There is, uh...
I've always wondered whyMike Pence has that face.
It's 'cause he can smell the(bleep) when he's talking.
(cheers and applause)
I mean, look at that,look at that.
Pence lies flat out toStephanopoulos' face,
and thank God, thank GodStephanopoulos pushes back.
You know, if ever there's a time
that journalists are goingto be tested in America
it's gonna be duringthe Trump presidency.
Like, I feel like we needto start handing out awards
to journalists for calling outbull (bleep).
You know what, actually?I'm gonna start it now.
Stephanopoulos, well done.
You're the first recipient
of The Daily Show Crapcatcher Award.
Yeah. Crapcatcher Award.
-That's for you, George.-(cheering and applause)
And, and-- Oh, and, he's notour only winner tonight.
We also honor CNN's Jake Tapper
who interviewed Trump's advisorKellyanne Conway last week
about Trump's tweets.
He tweeted that there weremillions of fraudulent votes.
There's no evidencethat there were millions
of fraudulent votes.
Is that reallypresidential behavior?
Well, he's the president-elect
so that's-that'spresidential behavior, yes.
-And I see where you're going...-So the things that Bill Clinton
did in the Oval Officethat you criticized,
th-those were presidential?
Are you actually comparingwhat Bill Clinton did
in the Oval Officewith a Twitter feed?
You're saying if the presidentdoes it, it's presidential.
-I'm saying...-Shall we review...
Shall we review for thosewho weren't born then
what President Clintondid in the Oval Office?
I'm saying just because apresident does something
doesn't make it presidential.
-Damn, Jake Tapper. Boom.-(cheering and applause)
Damn right, Jake.
You see, he saw the semantic BSKellyanne Conway was pulling,
and he-he called her on it,
which is why he earned anotherprestigious Crapcatcher Award.
Well done, Jake.A Crapcatcher Award for you.
By the way, you guysstill have to pay for shipping
and handling, but we'll talkabout that later. Oh, and, uh,
and by the way-- I don't knowwhy Kellyanne Conway was
so eager to go into detailsabout what Bill Clinton did
in the Oval Office.Did you see how she did that?
"Oh, you want to talk aboutthat? Let's talk about what..."
It-it felt like Kellyanne Conwaygoes to that story
any time she gets madat someone. Like, in a store,
they're like, "I'm sorry, ma'am,your card was declined."
And she's like, "How dare you?Do you have any idea
"just what Bill Clinton didin the Oval Office?
Do you wantto talk about that now?"
So, look, I get that it's easyto get caught up in a wave
of panic when watchingDonald Trump tweet through
his presidency. But look on thebright side. Think about this.
Because of Trump's tweets,
Trump and his people--
they can't shade the truth.That's what I love about this:
Trump's peoplecan't shade the truth.
Because he gives itto us unvarnished.
It's completely unvarnished.We'll always know
what he really thinks.And they can be like,
"Oh, no, that's not whathe meant." And he's like,
"No, that's what I meant."
So, I feel like we should justembrace that there's gonna be
a president who likes tocommunicate Internet style,
you know?Look on the bright side--
he's gonna be the firstpresident to use emojis
in the State of the Union.
He'll be up there like,"I got China to stop eggplanting
"us in the peach emoji
"and because of that,the state of the union is bicep.
Dancing lady, dancing lady,God bless America."