Speaking of love, uh, happyValentine's Day, everybody.
-Happy Valentine's. Yes,happy Valentine's. -(cheering)
I hope every single one of yougets something special
from the one you love,
because that's what this dayis all about,
the magic and romance.
Maybe it's the greatest dayof the year.
Uh, and if you don't havea valentine, well, who cares?
'Cause it's bull(bleep)and it's made-up anyway.
Uh, yeah, 'cause,I mean, let's be honest,
for some people, Valentine'sisn't the beginning--
for some people, it's the end.
All right, we're back nowwith our breaking news.
Uh, and this isbig breaking news.
Michael Flynn has resigned.
REPORTER: Flynn's shocking departure comes
after just three weeks on the job.
REPORTER 2: He is the shortest-serving
National Security Advisor now in modern history.
-Yeah!-(cheering and applause)
Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!
Donald Trump finally drainingthe swamp
of the people he broughtto the swamp!
President Trump is a genius,people.
He hires a cabinet fullof terrible people,
fires them one by one--
looks like he's a man of action.
Drain the swamp!
Down to the previous levels!
Drain the swamp!
Down to the previous levels!
It's not as catchy.It's just not as catchy.
Oh, and, uh, by the way,condolences to everyone who bet
Sean Spicer would be the firstto go. I was the same.
Yeah. I-I know, I know.You did not win anything,
uh, but for all of youwho had Flynn,
your prize is a gift certificateto Chili's!
Chili's--now hiring Michael Flynn.
But, I mean, wow, people.How big is this story?
The national security advisorfired after just three weeks!
Who... like, who could haveseen this coming?
WOMAN: A red flag was raised late last month
by then acting attorney general Sally Yates.
Yates telling the Trump White House
she believed Flynn was potentially vulnerable
to Russian blackmail.
-I even forgot that Russia wasa part of the story. -(laughter)
Yeah, they're like the villainfrom the last season
-making a guest appearance now,you know? -(laughter)
(with Russian accent): Ha, ha!You thought I was dyead!
-(laughter) -I'm sorry.You thought I was dyead?
(with Russian accent):No, dyead.
(Russian accent): No, dyead.You thought I was dyead.
Dyead? What's dyead?
(with Russian accent):Dyead. Alive, dyead.
Oh, this is why you got writtenout of the show, man.
-This is not working.It's not working. -(laughter)
But of course, it makes sense.
Remember afterObama put sanctions on Russia
for election meddling,all right, to help Trump win?
You remember that?
Well, after that, Flynn calledthe Russian ambassador
and told them not to sanctionthe U.S. back
because Trump was goingto cancel America's sanctions
after he took office,which is illegal, obviously.
I mean, it even sounds illegal.
You don't even needto know the law.
Just be like,"You called the Russians?
And, yeah, that sounds illegal.I don't even know the law."
So President Trumpmust have been so grateful
to this Sally Yates lady
who warned him of this majornational security breech.
I wonder, what...what was her reward?
WOMAN: President Trump fired Yates last month
after she refused to defend
his controversial immigration executive order.
-Ah, yes! Of course!-(laughter)
The great immigration banof 18 three weeks ago.
So Flynn possibly hadan illegal conversation...
...with Russian diplomatsbefore Trump was sworn in.
But as with major scandals,there's always two parts--
the crime and then the cover-up.
General Flynn lied,got caught...
MAN: He was not straightforward with Vice President Pence.
He had told Vice President Pencehe never had that conversation.
The vice president went out inSunday morning television shows
and said he never had theconversation about sanctions.
I talked to general Flynnabout that... that conversation.
They did not discuss anythinghaving to do
with the United States' decision
to expel diplomats or imposecensure against Russia.
-Look what you did, Flynn!-(laughter)
Mike Pence went out.
He faced the nationand told your lie!
You lied to the vice president!
The man in charge of...
No, what is the vice presidentin charge of, for real, though?
Oh, you guys also don't know?You're laughing...
-(laughter) -Yeah,you're laughing at me. I...
Is in he in charge...?
Anyway, anyway, the point is,Flynn is out,
and everyone shouldbe happy about it
because there werea lot of signs
that he was not the right person
to bethe national security advisor.
I mean, just in this storyalone, two things.
One-- he didn't know
that the U.S. governmentroutinely taps calls
to the Russians,which is stupid.
That's the plotof every spy movie--
-America taps Russia's calls.-(laughter)
Everyone should know that.
And secondly,in his letter of resignation,
he saidhe didn't lie to Mike Pence.
He said that he just couldn'ttell Pence the full story
because of, quote,"the fast pace of events."
Yeah. That's not a valid excuse.
Like, that just sounds like
you're tryingto tell someone a story,
and you're bothon opposite trains,
and that's why you couldn'ttell them the story.
"Hey, Pence I was talkingto Russia..."
-(laughter)-I tried, I tried, I tried.
-(applause)-Get out of here, man.
(applause and cheering)
You can't say that it was movingtoo fast for you.
The job of national securityadvisor is almost only
about accurately reportingand analyzing events
at a very fast pace.
You can't tell ISIS,"Slow down, guys! Slow down!"
-(laughter) "I'm still talkingabout the other attack!
-It's so fast! Come on!"-(laughter)
So, Mike Pence...lied to by Flynn.
The question is, what do you do?
What I loveabout this administration
is that they've already given usall the answers
on how to dealwith their misconduct.
Because this was Flynnat last summer's RNC.
We do not needa reckless president
who believes she is above the law.
(people shouting, jeering)
(chanting): Lock her up!Lock her up! Lock her up!
Lock her up. That's right.
If I did a tenth...
a tenth of what she did,
I would be in jail today.
-(cheering, applause)-Preach, Pastor Flynn! Preach!
So powerful...in your principles!
I wonder what Flynn,with all his principles,
is doing right now.
If you want credibility,maintain your integrity.
Protect your integrity.
People will give youcredibility.
You have to give yourselfintegrity.
-(laughter)-Well, ain't that a bitch.