Speaking of flawlessfirst black presidents.
In three days Barack Obama
will no longer be the officialPresident of the United States.
-No, no.-(audience booing)
He'll still be theunofficial president,
because you know why?
There's no term limitsin people's hearts.
Now, with less than a weekto go, uh,
before you'reno longer president,
you'd think Barack would spendmost of his time playing Xbox
in the situation roomwith Joe Biden, you know,
just hanging out eating pizza.
Look at that. They looklike they're having fun.
Obama's just like, "Uh, boom.
Now you're the second guywho died on the screen."
On the real though,
President Obama has been busyover the last few weeks, uh,
not only trying to cementhis legacy,
but also working on thetransition to President Trump.
But what I've noticed is
it feels less likea transfer of power
and more like Obamahas been babyproofing America.
No, no, which makes sense,because America has essentially
elected a giant baby.
And like any good parent, youneed to bolt things to the wall,
you move valuablesto the high shelves,
you babycade the stairs,you know?
Because, as much as you chosethis little (bleep),
you know that they're probablygonna destroy the place.
-You know that this is true.-(cheering, applause)
And that... and that is exactlywhat Obama's trying to prevent.
Take, for example,the environment.
We know baby Trump doesn'tbelieve in climate change
or restricting oil drillingor moving towards green energy.
And so papa Obama's... you know,
he's taking some of that land
and he's putting iton a higher shelf.
REPORTER: President Obama banned drilling this week
in hundreds of millions of acres
of the Arctic and Atlantic Oceans,
and used a 1953 law to ensure a more difficult process
for the next administration to reverse that prohibition.
The president's last bitof environmental measures,
including his designation of two new national monuments--
Bears Ears in Utah and Gold Butte in Nevada.
There's a push to dial it back,
but undoing a national monumentis unchartered territory.
Obama had to use a lawfrom 1953 to get this done.
You know a black manis desperate...
when his best optionis to get laws from 1953.
Ain't no good (bleep)waiting for you there, man.
There's no-no good (bleep)there. Everyone's like,
"Don't go there, Obama."He's like, "I got to go.
"I got to go. Uh, we're gonnause this regulation.
"And, if you'll excuse me,I'm gonna take a sip from this,
uh, colored water fountain.Mmm."
I did, uh, I did love this,though, you know?
One of the places Obamadeclared a national monument
was an area called Gold Butte,
which is genius.
Because you know there's no wayTrump is going to unprotect
anything with "gold butt"in the title.
Trump's gonna be like,"That's the best part of...
I love it.That's a monument."
But the environment'snot the only thing Obama's
worried about. There's alsoAmerica's legally dubious
prison facility, Guantanamo Bay,
which Obama has spenthis entire presidency
trying to shut down.
Today Oman is acceptingten more prisoners
for temporary residence.The latest transfers
leave 45 detaineesat Guantanamo.
The administration estimatesit will soon cost
ten million dollars per yearper Guantanamo detainee,
and they say that exorbitantcost should be reason enough
for the next presidentto shut it down.
If you think Donald Trumpcares about cost or reason,
you've learned nothingfrom the last year.
Because Baby Trumphas other plans.
Gitmo, right? Guantanamo Bay.Which, by the way...
which, by the way,we are keeping open.
-Which we are keeping open.-(crowd cheering, applauding)
And we're gonna load it upwith some bad dudes, believe me.
We're gonna load it up.
With some bad dudes.
Bad dudes, get on in there.
Donald... Donald Trumpalways sounds like a man
who's speaking the lyricsto a song.
Have you noticed that?
Like, he sounds likean idiot talking,
but I bet you if John Legendsang those same words,
it would be a hit.
Like, if you-if youput that out and it was like...
♪ Gitmo, right
♪ Guantanamo Bay
♪ Which, by the way,by the way ♪
♪ We are keeping open
♪ Which we are keeping openand we're gonna load it up ♪
♪ With some bad dudes,bad dudes. ♪
We'd be like,"We love you, John."
But Trump sounds likean idiot doing it.
And-and Obama's tryingto baby-Trump-proof
everything he can.Think about it.
He, uh, rallied Democratsto fight
to keep the Affordable Care Act
so that 20 million Americanswould not go uninsured.
He's made it harderfor states to deny funding
to Planned Parenthood,not to mention
he changed the passwordon the White House computer
to PopularVoteLOL.And, uh...
on top of that, just last week,
President Obama'sjustice department
released a damning reportexposing
the Chicago police departmentfor routinely trampling
on civil rights and usingexcessive force,
which was chiefly aimed atAfrican-Americans and Latinos.
Yeah. And the reasonthe Obama administration
rushed this report outwas because they knew
when Jeff Sessions is runningBaby Trump's justice department,
the only reports we're gonna getabout the police
is how handsome they are.
Which they are,but that's not the point.
I'll tell you this,we better hope Papa Obama
can babyproofas much as possible
before the baby's in the house.
Because if there's one thingwe know about this baby,
it's never gonna grow up.