The Colbert Report

ThreatDown - Apple Fan-Bears, Drunk Cars & Bears

Season 9 • 10/10/2012

A bear steals an iPad, a distillery makes biofuel from whiskey, and two other bears visit the mall.

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00:39

Intro - 10/9/12
The Colbert ReportS9

Russia sets its sights on the North Pole, Mitt Romney sends a warning to Iran, and music legend Morrissey stands up for animals.
10/09/2012
03:34

Mitt Romney's Vague, Long-Winded Foreign Threats
The Colbert ReportS9

Mitt Romney proves he knows what Americans want in international relations: a few extra wars in Syria, Iran, Afghanistan and Libya.
10/09/2012
05:10

Morrissey
The Colbert ReportS9

The former lead singer of "The Smiths" talks about the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, radical vegetarianism and his song "Meat Is Murder."
10/09/2012
03:20

President Obama's Obsessiveness Plea
The Colbert ReportS9

In the face of Mitt Romney starting to run for president, President Obama reveals his desperation during a California fundraiser.
10/09/2012
04:39

Smokin' Pole - The Quest for Arctic Riches - China & Russia
The Colbert ReportS9

Greenland officials see through China's sudden interest in their country, and Russia makes its holy mark on the North Pole.
10/09/2012
05:36

Naomi Wolf
The Colbert ReportS9

Naomi Wolf explores low sexual desire among women, vaginal anatomy and America's outdated cultural script on sex.
10/10/2012
00:08

Sign Off - "Vagina: A New Biography"
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen reads up on female anatomy.
10/10/2012
04:54

The Word - Meducation
The Colbert ReportS9

Since America can't afford all the teachers it would take to give children personal attention, doctors recommend psychostimulants to improve kids' grades.
10/10/2012
04:56

Beverage-Based Polling & Pizza Toppings Town Hall
The Colbert ReportS9

The 7-Eleven coffee cup poll has a margin of error of "Mormons can't drink coffee," and Pizza Hut promises one town hall questioner free pies for life.
10/10/2012
00:35

Intro - 10/10/12
The Colbert ReportS9

America's education system finds answers, highways encounter trouble, and Naomi Wolf talks about her book, "Vagina: A New Biography."
10/10/2012
04:43

ThreatDown - Apple Fan-Bears, Drunk Cars & Bears
The Colbert ReportS9

Bears choose FaceTime over eating people's faces and discover that Americans are most vulnerable at the mall.
10/10/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
10/11/2012
04:55

Chrystia Freeland
The Colbert ReportS9

In her book "Plutocrats," Chrystia Freeland argues that today's global economy allows the super rich to disregard the American middle class.
10/11/2012
07:36

This Changes Everything - Obama's Martian Gayness
The Colbert ReportS9

Rumors of President Obama's secret gay Martian past emanate from a top-secret government space teleportation program.
10/11/2012
02:36

The Vice-Presidential Debate
The Colbert ReportS9

Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan debate in Kentucky, and critics question Barack Obama's relationship to moderator Martha Raddatz's ex-husband.
10/11/2012
00:36

Intro - 10/11/12
The Colbert ReportS9

Obama faces an "October surprise," scientists discover a new species of turtle, and Chrystia Freeland examines the super-rich in her book, "Plutocrats."
10/11/2012
04:46

Formidable Opponent - Mitt Romney
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen argues the centrist Mitt Romney seen at the debate is the real Mitt Romney, but Stephen thinks Stephen got sucked in.
10/11/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
10/15/2012
06:00

Tip/Wag - Norway & American Family Association
The Colbert ReportS9

Europe grants itself the Nobel Peace Prize, and liberal social engineering erases heterosexual boundaries at the lunch table.
10/15/2012
00:38

Intro - 10/15/12
The Colbert ReportS9

The Nobel Committees name the Nobel Prize winners, a criminal runs loose in Florida, and Evan Thomas explores Dwight D. Eisenhower's influence on modern nuclear policy.
10/15/2012
03:55

Monkey on the Lam - Florida - Monkey on the Gram
The Colbert ReportS9

The people of St. Petersburg have ignored Stephen's selfless attempts to macaque-block them, and now the plundering monkey has come back to bite them.
10/15/2012
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