Let's get backto the presidential election.
Yesterday, Republicanpresidential nominee
and scrubby side of the sponge,Donald Trump--
he gave a majorforeign policy speech
on his plan to defeat ISIS,which was surprising,
because up until yesterday,
Donald saidhe was going to defeat ISIS.
He just wouldn't tell us how.
I have a great plan.It's gonna be great.
Well, what is it?
I'd rather not say.I want to be unpredictable.
I have a simple messagefor them.
Their days are numbered.
I won't tell them where,and I won't tell them how.
This guy's a joke.
He's talkingabout fighting terrorism
like it's a gameof peek-a-boo.
Where are you? Peek-a-boo!
-(laughter) -You know what?I get it, Donald Trump.
I agree with that sentiment,because sometimes to win a war,
you have to do some (bleep)
that I don't want to hear about,you know?
Like, what if Donald Trump'splan is to go to Syria
and then jerk off ISIS untilthey're too exhausted to fight?
-(laughter) -We don't wantto know about that.
We don't. We don't.
When Donald Trumpcomes home and says,
"Don't worry about ISIS anymore.
I just needto go wash my hands,"
-we don't want to ask why.-(laughter)
Now, real quick,to break down Trump's speech.
25% of the speech was himtelling us about stuff he'd do,
and the rest was basicallyplayer-hating
every singleforeign policy decision
the U.S. has madeover the past 15 years.
So for more on these facts,we turn to our own Desi Lydic
with What the Actual Fact?
(cheers and applause)
Thank you, Trevor.
Donald Trump's speech wasall about fighting terrorism,
which he sees as the nation'sthird greatest threat
right behind the news mediaand a gentle breeze.
So let's start with oneof Trump's favorite claims
about his superiorforeign policy judgment.
I was an opponent of theIraq War from the beginning.
That's a lie.
To the extent that Donald Trumpcared about Iraq,
in the beginning,he supported the war,
as he told Howard Sternat the time.
That's right, Trump was askedif he was for invading Iraq,
and he replied,"Yeah, I guess so,"
which, incidentally, is alsoTrump's go-to wedding vow.
-(laughter and groaning)-(clears her throat)
So when Donald Trump says he wasalways against invading Iraq,
that statement is false.
It's been debunked over andover, and the proof is on tape.
Trump seems to think
we can't easily find this stuffon the Internet.
So I give this claimone hotel porn channel.
Really? $25, and judgmentfrom the desk clerk?
No, thank you. (laughs)
So next on Trump's tourof world hot spots-- Libya.
The failures in Iraqwere compounded
by Hillary Clinton's disaster,
total disaster in Libya.
Hillary Clinton's forcefuladvocacy
for the interventionwas the deciding factor.
That's why we went in.
So Donald Trump says HillaryClinton urged President Obama
to intervene in Libya,and you know what?
That is completely true.
And a guy like Donald Trump
would never makesuch a stupid mistake,
except he did.
Gaddafi in Libya is killingthousands of people.
Nobody knows how bad it is,
and we're sitting around.
We have soldiersall over the Middle East,
and we're not bringing them into stop this horrible carnage.
Now, we should go in,we should stop this guy,
which would be very easyand very quick.
That's right,Trump also supported
the intervention in Libya.
Basically, he's tryingto go back and rewrite the past.
So I give thisone Back to the Future.
also features a parentwho wants to bang their kid.
Desi Lydic, everyone.