let's get warmed up
with a tale of romancein the White House.
A photo of Ivanka Trump sitting
in the president'sOval Office chair
is gettin' a lot of attentionon Twitter.
It shows her sittingin the chair.
She's with CanadianPrime Minister Justin Trudeau
and her father President Trumpstanding behind her.
In a tweet yesterday,she captioned it,
"A great discussionwith two world leaders
about the importance of womenhaving a seat at the table."
Oh, I-I'm sorry. That-that photoshows the importance
of women having a seatat the table?
Your dad let you sitat his desk.
That's not a woman in power--
it's Take Your Daughterto Work Day.
No, I mean, don't get me wrong,it's a lovely Instagram photo.
I mean, I think she probablyused the Nepotism filter.
And what makes thisreally annoying
is that three millionmore Americans
wanted a womansitting behind that desk,
-like, full-time. Full-time.-(cheering and applause)
Not just for the photo op.
But like Ivanka said,I mean, this photo was taken
during a visit with CanadianPrime Minister Justin Trudeau,
who is acknowledged by peopleof all political leanings
and sexual orientations as thefinest world leader currently.
-(cheering, whooping)-No, no. Like, seriously.
I-I mean, look at that guy.
That guy gets so much poutine.
If this were the old days,when alliances were sealed
by kings taking multiple wives,
Canada would be the world'sgreatest superpower.
Let's just acknowledge that.And a lot of people,
a lot of people think thatIvanka noticed that as well.
Because just look at these looksthat she's giving him.
Look at that look. Oh, man.
Can you zoom into her eyes?Can you g... What is...
what is going on...Look at that. Oh.
You can feel it.
She looks like she's readyto risk it all.
Yeah? Looks likeshe's considering dressing up
as a Syrian refugee,refugees, just like...
just so Canada will take her in,you know?
Like, "Let me in, Justin."
And I get it, I get it.
Because Ivanka is an attractive,vibrant young woman,
and ever since her dadbecame president,
have you seen the troll menshe has to hang out with?
Look at these guys.Just, like, every day,
(nasally):"Hi, Ivanka. Hi, Ivanka.
For Valentine's Day, I got youa coupon for a foot massage!
Now, don't get me wrong, I'mnot saying these guys are ugly,
but they aredefinitely alt-handsome,
uh, is what I'm trying to say.