Yeah, and welcome backto The 2016 Summer Games.
-I'm Jordan Klepper.-And I'm Roy...
-We don't have time for that.-(laughter)
Of course we just saw the bigstory out of the games today.
Donald Trump said
second amendment peoplecould do something
to stop Hillary Clinton.
Now a lot of folks, Jordan,thought Trump meant
busting a cap in that ass.
(laughter and groaning)
For our suburban audiences?
-Shooting her.-Thank you, Roy.
But not all of Trump supportersheard it that way.
Which brings usto today's main event. The...
-(laughter) -Yeah.I love this one, Jordan. -Yeah.
The way these Trump surrogatesflip, flip, flip
all over the place.
This event has always beena fan favorite.
Let's see now. This is our first competitor here.
This is Congressman Duncan Hunter,
and he's coming to the floor now
to explain what Donald Trump really meant.
I think that he can beinarticulate at times.
So let's saythat he was an English professor
with a PhD in grammar.
Then I think that we couldgo through it this way
and dissect what he said,
literally based off the sequencethat he said it.
But I'm not... I'm notdoing that with Mr. Trump.
-(laughter, groaning)-Now that. -Yeah.
-That is an impressive move,Jordan. -(laughter)
Duncan Hunter saying it's not fair
to judge what Donald Trump says
based on the sequence that he says it.
Yes. Now, the rest of uscall that "language."
-(laughter)-But, you know, what do I know?
I don't have a PhD in grammar.
-That's not a real thing.-Not true.
For 20 grand, you can get onefrom Trump University.
(laughter, cheering, applause)
-That's very true.-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
It's very true.Now, sorry to cut you off here,
Jordan, but we have to go onto the next competitor
who's making their wayto the mat.
Congressman Peter Kingfrom New York
is going to explainwhat Donald Trump really meant.
I-I interpret itjust as something
a guy says over the shoulder.
It was wrong--he shouldn't have said it.
What do you mean byan "over the shoulder" comment?
What was he referring towhen he said that?
I don't even know-- and I don'tknow if Donald Trump does.
Wow. Okay, wow.All right, so you can't get mad
at Donald Trump becausehe has no idea what he's doing.
An excuse rarely usedfor adult human beings.
-You hear it more for dogs.-You do, yes.
-Yeah. More of a dog thing.-I had a dog that took a dump
in my shoe one time-- you know,I couldn't get mad at him,
'cause, you know, hedidn't know what he was doing.
He didn't knowthat he took a dump
in a Collector's Edition Jordan
that you'd been keepingin the box for years,
-Right.-mint condition, the 72-10's!
-That goddamn dog knew whathe was doing! -Yeah. Right.
-He knew! He knew!-Yes, right, we're good.
-Right. Yep. Great.-(applause, whooping)
Now, let's, uh, let's go...let's go back to Peter King,
see if he sticks the landing.
Are you sayingwas he negligent in saying it?
Absolutely.He should take it back.
Make it clearhe's taking it back.
But that is different.I go back to this again.
When cops are being killedand the Democratic Party...
All right, hold it one second.Let's play the clip right now.
What a sloppy dismount.
-(laughter)-Who knows what he meant,
but it was a mistake,and Democrats hate the police?
It's like...it's like he panicked
and started babblingtalking points.
Like, Democrats bad,Jesus good. Drill, baby, drill.
What do you think, Roy? Roy?
Those shoes had a street valueof $1,100. -Okay.
You got to let it go.Buddy, you got to let it go.
-A turd right inside of 'em.-Buddy, you got to let it go.
Buddy, you got to let it go.Just let this go, all right?
-The turd in the Jordans!-Let it go, all right?
Coming up next, a realstar performer, Rudy Giuliani.
We know Donald Trumpis not particularly indirect.
If Donald Trump wasgonna say something like that,
he'd say something like that.
What he intended was thatthey should vote against her.
-I guess that's the question...-With a crowd like that,
if that's whatthey thought he meant,
they'd have gone wild.
-Ho-ho! Whoa!-Ho-ho! Whoa! Whoa!
Anyway, Giulianibasically just said
if Donald Trump wantsto shoot Hillary Clinton,
that mother (bleep)would've just said it outright.
And... he said if Trump did suggest killing Hillary,
those monsterswould go ape (bleep)
and tear the stadium apartin support.
I mean, even Rudyis terrified of those animals.
-Best performance? -Yeah,easily the best performance.
-Oh, well, that wraps it up...-Actually, uh,
Trump has a press conferencetomorrow at 11:00.
Oh, well, then good chanceyou'll see us back here
-tomorrow at noon.-Yes.