Uh, let's move onand talk about America.
Here's the thing about Americathat always surprises me,
other than how many ways you canspell the name Caitlyn.
It's how big this country is.
And, I mean, yeah, like,Russia is physically bigger,
but America's the biggestcountry in a different way.
This country's so big it cango in two different directions
at the same time.Uh, for example,
take guns, right?That's what half of the country
wants to do--take guns, all right?
But while that's going on,the other half of the country--
they're doingthe exact opposite.
Today a controversial gun billwill be back at center focus
in the Missouri statehouse.It allows almost anyone to carry
a concealed gun, even without
the training requiredto own a gun.
Missouri wants tolet people carry guns
with no training.None.
You realize,even when you play Pokémon,
they start you offwith training.
Even Pokémon, the app is like,
"You can't just berunning around the streets
with Poké Balls--Squirtles could get hurt."
Even Pokémon is like,"You need some training."
And Missouri's like,"Nah, have a gun, have a gun.
and this is...this is so irresponsible.
And it's not just mesaying that.
I mean, the-the Poké Ballthing-- that's just me.
But the people... the people
who know whatthey're talking about--
they're against this too.
REPORTER: St. Louis police chief Sam Dotson
has been blasting this bill for months.
What we will have noware individuals,
who have no realvetting process,
are able to go outand-and walk our streets
with firearmsthat have no real training.
Yes. The police--the police are against it
And that's why, uh,police all over the country
want more gun restrictions,not fewer. You know?
Because thismakes their job harder.
Loosening all of these lawsmakes the policeman's job
so much harderthan it already is.
Because if (bleep) goes downand suddenly everyone pulls out
a gun, how do the cops knowwho to shoot?
I mean, obviously the black guyfirst. But after that,
who do they shoot?And, look, I know,
I know that people in Americaare going to have guns.
I understand that.But why specifically eliminate
training requirements thatmake life in Missouri safer?
Like, unless, for some reason,
you find the danger exciting,you know?
You... What, is Missouri tryingto spice things up, you know?
Just like... Why don't they goto the extreme?
"You knowwhat would be super hot,
is if we stopped inspectingour meat. Mmm."
And it's-it's not likeMissouri's against training
in general, all right?Because in Missouri--
we-we looked this up--you need 16 hours of training
to serve on a school board.Yeah.
16 hours of training. Right?You need 48 hours of training
to receive your certificationas a master naturalist.
Now, in case you're wonderingwhat a master naturalist does,
it's things like assistingwith tree plantings
and the creationof butterfly gardens.
I didn't even knowyou needed help
to create a butterfly garden.I didn't know that.
Although it might explain why mybutterfly graveyard is so large.
That is somethingI never considered. Yes.
And there's another partof this bill that is, uh--
how can I put it--it's just weird.
REPORTER: It would also allow houseguests like babysitters
to use deadly force against intruders.
So, anyone you inviteto your house, in Missouri,
anyone could come to your housewith a hidden gun, all right,
that they don't know how to use
and then they shoot anyonethat they think is an intruder.
This is what the law is now.
Like, what if you're havinga party?
One of those parties wherenot everyone knows each other.
What happens then? Ding-dong."Oh, can you get that?"
(mimics gunshots)"What happened?"
"Yeah, I didn't know the guy.I didn't know who he was.
I d..." "He was my guest.Who are you?"
"Wait, what?"(mimics gunshots)
Well, this wasa horrible, uh, dinner.
Now all Missouri Evitesare gonna have to say
"from 7:00 p.m. until tombstone,tombstone, tombstone?"
And as far as, uh...as your babysitter being allowed
to shoot someone, like,
is that really somethingyou want to allow?
I mean, I'm-I'm a single guy,so I-I don't know
if it's just methat it doesn't appeal to.
But I know one new motherwho's excited about the law.
We're just going to dinner,so we shouldn't be too late.
Just remember,no TV for Katie before bed.
And help yourself to anythingin the fridge.
Um, God,what else am I forgetting?
You ever used one of those?
-Not really.-You'll figure it out.
If anyone comes in the house,
you take that mother(bleep)down, all right?
You don't take any chances.When he's down on the ground,
two in the head.Pop, pop, right?
-(car horn honking)-I'm coming!
God, my husband is so impatient.
I'd like to bust a capin his ass. (chuckles)
Anywho, date night!
Yeah. What could go wrong?