The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Teleprompter Eulogy
Season 7 • 06/28/2011
Teleprompter inventor, Hubert Schlafly, leaves behind a posthumous message.
Good Point/Other Point - Ted Nugent vs. MillennialsThe Colbert ReportS7
Tea Party darling and 70s rock 'n' roll participant Ted Nugent finds today's youth 'terminally stoned on apathy,' which is a gateway drug.
Sign Off - Scented Box CutterThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen shaves with a box cutter duct-taped to a Glade PlugIn.
Intro - 6/27/11The Colbert ReportS7
Rick Scott wants to increase his popularity, Ted Nugent writes an op-ed, and Grover Norquist talks about Americans for Tax Reform.
Grover NorquistThe Colbert ReportS7
Grover Norquist, lobbyist for Americans for Tax Reform, must choose between terrorized grandmothers and higher taxes.
Stephen & Jonathan Alter at Gaillard AuditoriumThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen invites Colbert Nation to his live interview with Jonathan Alter at South Carolina's Gaillard Auditorium.
Alexandra PelosiThe Colbert ReportS7
Emmy-winning filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi discusses her documentary, "Citizen U.S.A," about citizenship ceremonies throughout the 50 states.
Michele Bachmann Compares Herself to John WayneThe Colbert ReportS7
If Michele Bachmann shows weakness, her critics will circle like sharks -- or psycho-sexual serial killers.
Intro - 6/28/11The Colbert ReportS7
The Supreme Court has big news for Wal-Mart, animals respond to advertising, and Alexandra Pelosi talks about her documentary on becoming a U.S. citizens.
Advertising to MonkeysThe Colbert ReportS7
Advertisers shouldn't use airbrushing and collagen -- just beautiful, natural monkey vaginas.
The Word - Too Big to NailThe Colbert ReportS7
The Supreme Court throws out a class action lawsuit brought against Wal-Mart by its female employees, setting a precedent for gender-equal powerlessness against corporations.
Sign Off - Teleprompter EulogyThe Colbert ReportS7
Teleprompter inventor, Hubert Schlafly, leaves behind his technological legacy along with a message from beyond the grave.
Gary SiniseThe Colbert ReportS7
Gary Sinise discusses his documentary, "Lt. Dan Band: For the Common Good," and the importance of supporting America's troops.
4th of July Under Attack - Fireworks CancelledThe Colbert ReportS7
In an attack against the shabby, cash-only roadside shacks that make America great, Texas cancels Fourth of July fireworks shows.
Hometown Hero Town - Lexington, KYThe Colbert ReportS7
While there are some things in life worth standing up for, folks in Lexington, KY, would rather sit down for them.
Colbert Super PAC - Trevor Potter Preps Stephen for His FEC HearingThe Colbert ReportS7
Trevor Potter prepares Stephen for his FEC Super PAC hearing, which will not require him to fight in the sarlacc pit in sudden-death overtime.
Intro - 6/29/11The Colbert ReportS7
The FEC decides whether or not Stephen can have his Super PAC, a survey identifies America's least active city, and Gary Sinise talks about entertaining American troops.
Sign Off - See You at the FECThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen reminds Colbert Nation to go to the FEC for his Super PAC hearing.
Colbert Super PAC - Irresponsible AdvertisingThe Colbert ReportS7
If the FEC allows his Super PAC, Stephen promises to make ads that are even less responsible than Turn Right USA's racist, misogynistic ads.
Colbert Super PAC - Stephen Addresses Colbert Super NationThe Colbert ReportS7
After filing his Super PAC papers, Stephen wades into the crowd with a credit card swiper attached to his iPad like Washington crossing the Delaware to ask it for money.
Formidable Opponent - PakistanThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen wants to give Pakistan an ultimatum to stop supporting terror or lose American aid, but Stephen doesn't think Stephen should choose his friends for him.
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