The Colbert Report
Intro - 2/2/09
Season 5 • 02/02/2009
Thanks to global warming, Iceland will soon be known as Landland.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 1/29/09
All 177 House Republicans say no to Obama's stimulus package. Shh! Don't tell them they don't control the House anymore.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Chicken Wing Spokesman Richard Lobb
Richard Lobb has advice for the man who has to choose between frying chicken wings and educating his kids.
The Colbert ReportS5 John Podesta
John Podesta believes that in the last nine days Barack Obama has shown he can make progress.
The Colbert ReportS5 Rod Blagojevich Is Impeached
Rod Blagojevich is impeached even after appearing on all the talk shows.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - The Audacity of Nope
If Republicans can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, they'd rather have no economy at all.
The Colbert ReportS5 So Long, Farewell
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
Stephen will now have to discriminate under the table, which will be difficult, since that's where he usually does his harassing.
The Colbert ReportS5 Nailed 'Em - Amtrak Photographer
Amtrak police arrest a man because he's taking pictures for their photography contest.
The Colbert ReportS5 It Could Be Worse - Iceland
Iceland is a frigid rock in the middle of nowhere that has gone bankrupt and gone gay.
The Colbert ReportS5 Dan Zaccagnino
Stephen is angry with Dan Zaccagnino for allowing Indaba Music users to remix his interview.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 2/2/09
The government collapses in Iceland, or as it will soon be known thanks to global warming, Landland.
The Colbert ReportS5 Henry Louis Gates, Jr.
Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.
The Colbert ReportS5 All the Show We Have Time For
Fortunately, it's also all the time we have show for.
The Colbert ReportS5 Colbert Platinum - Ass-Covering Edition
If you really want to convince people you're dead, you need to actually die.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tom Daschle Steps Down
If this were the Bush administration, Tom Daschle would have never stepped down -- not without a medal of freedom.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Army of One
If Republicans do what Rush Limbaugh says, they'll get the only vote that matters: his.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 2/3/09
Republicans choose a new leader. Don't worry -- they're the same old ideas.
The Colbert ReportS5 Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - The Newberry Awards
Al Gore has already won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Nobel Prize and the 2000 presidential election -- he doesn't need a Grammy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 2/4/09
Pope Benedict reinstates a Holocaust-denying bishop. Frankly, Stephen is skeptical of the evidence that he actually reinstated him.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tell Your Friends
If you didn't like what you saw, Stephen will tell your enemies.
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