The Colbert Report

Intro - 2/2/09

Season 5 • 02/02/2009

Thanks to global warming, Iceland will soon be known as Landland.

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00:37

Intro - 1/29/09
The Colbert ReportS5

All 177 House Republicans say no to Obama's stimulus package. Shh! Don't tell them they don't control the House anymore.
01/29/2009
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07:07

Sport Report - Chicken Wing Spokesman Richard Lobb
The Colbert ReportS5

Richard Lobb has advice for the man who has to choose between frying chicken wings and educating his kids.
01/29/2009
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05:37

John Podesta
The Colbert ReportS5

John Podesta believes that in the last nine days Barack Obama has shown he can make progress.
01/29/2009
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01:21

Rod Blagojevich Is Impeached
The Colbert ReportS5

Rod Blagojevich is impeached even after appearing on all the talk shows.
01/29/2009
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05:24

The Word - The Audacity of Nope
The Colbert ReportS5

If Republicans can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, they'd rather have no economy at all.
01/29/2009
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00:14

So Long, Farewell
The Colbert ReportS5

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.
02/02/2009
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04:02

The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen will now have to discriminate under the table, which will be difficult, since that's where he usually does his harassing.
02/02/2009
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05:39

Nailed 'Em - Amtrak Photographer
The Colbert ReportS5

Amtrak police arrest a man because he's taking pictures for their photography contest.
02/02/2009
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03:05

It Could Be Worse - Iceland
The Colbert ReportS5

Iceland is a frigid rock in the middle of nowhere that has gone bankrupt and gone gay.
02/02/2009
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05:35

Dan Zaccagnino
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is angry with Dan Zaccagnino for allowing Indaba Music users to remix his interview.
02/02/2009
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00:35

Intro - 2/2/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The government collapses in Iceland, or as it will soon be known thanks to global warming, Landland.
02/02/2009
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07:07

Henry Louis Gates, Jr.
The Colbert ReportS5

Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.
02/03/2009
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00:14

All the Show We Have Time For
The Colbert ReportS5

Fortunately, it's also all the time we have show for.
02/03/2009
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04:13

Colbert Platinum - Ass-Covering Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

If you really want to convince people you're dead, you need to actually die.
02/03/2009
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02:35

Tom Daschle Steps Down
The Colbert ReportS5

If this were the Bush administration, Tom Daschle would have never stepped down -- not without a medal of freedom.
02/03/2009
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05:29

The Word - Army of One
The Colbert ReportS5

If Republicans do what Rush Limbaugh says, they'll get the only vote that matters: his.
02/03/2009
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00:33

Intro - 2/3/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Republicans choose a new leader. Don't worry -- they're the same old ideas.
02/03/2009
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04:39

Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - The Newberry Awards
The Colbert ReportS5

Al Gore has already won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Nobel Prize and the 2000 presidential election -- he doesn't need a Grammy.
02/04/2009
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00:32

Intro - 2/4/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Pope Benedict reinstates a Holocaust-denying bishop. Frankly, Stephen is skeptical of the evidence that he actually reinstated him.
02/04/2009
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00:09

Tell Your Friends
The Colbert ReportS5

If you didn't like what you saw, Stephen will tell your enemies.
02/04/2009
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03:01

Stephen Verbally Thrashes Steve Martin
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen explodes after Steve Martin walks through his eyeline.
02/04/2009
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