The Colbert Report
Intro - 9/30/09
Season 5 • 09/30/2009
Stephen hopes environmentalists want us to give up icebergs because that'll be easy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 9/29/09
An exciting new tobacco product hits the market, and Matt Latimer recalls his Bush speechwriting days.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Richard Dawkins Will Be Here Tomorrow
Noted atheist writer Richard Dawkins will be on tomorrow night.
The Colbert ReportS5 Spider-Pope
If the spider crawling on Pope Benedict XVI's face has bitten him, we might soon have a Spider-Pope.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Snus & Placebo Effect
Camel develops a new way to deliver smooth carcinogens without lighting up, and placebos become more effective.
The Colbert ReportS5 Matt Latimer
Matt Latimer, a former speechwriter for the Bush administration, remembers the words he used most when writing for the president.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Goodnight, Grammy
Stephen says goodnight to his grammy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Send Your Medical Bills to Max Baucus
Senator Max Baucus will pay for your medical bills from the $3.2 million he's received from the health care industry.
The Colbert ReportS5 A Pace Odyssey
NASA begins assembling Stephen's treadmill so America's famously fat astronauts can get trim in space.
The Colbert ReportS5 Richard Dawkins
After offering evidence for evolution, Richard Dawkins wants to see the evidence for God.
The Colbert ReportS5 ThreatDown - Environmentalists, Kang Lee & Mountain Pine Beetles
Environmentalists target soft toilet paper, Kang Lee exposes the lies parents tell kids, and mountain pine beetles prevent us from shooting bears.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 9/30/09
Stephen has an update on his space treadmill, and he'll evolve Richard Dawkins' book into tiny shreds of paper.
The Colbert ReportS5 Francis Collins
Francis Collins informs Stephen that it's going to take time for stem cell research to give him crab claws.
The Colbert ReportS5 Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 1
Competitive eater Brad Sciullo wants to prove anything is possible by finishing a 15-pound hamburger called "The Belly Buster."
The Colbert ReportS5 Najibullah Zazi Threatens Beauty Supplies
Suspected terrorist Najibullah Zazi threatens America's unregulated use of beauty supplies.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - New Slang
Stephen introduces some new slang into the teen lexicon.
The Colbert ReportS5 2016 Olympics in Chicago - George Wendt
George Wendt and Stephen trash talk Rio de Janeiro, Madrid and Tokyo for competing against Chicago's 2016 Olympics bid.
The Colbert ReportS6 Exclusive - The Morning Asylum
Stephen plays an excerpt from his 80s morning radio show, "The Morning Asylum with Stevie C and Dr. Dave."
The Colbert ReportS5 Arne Duncan
Secretary of Education Arne Duncan wants longer school hours so American students can compete with the rest of the world.
The Colbert ReportS5 Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 2
Brad Sciullo's training regime of drinking, vomiting and trout prepares him to conquer "The Belly Buster."
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