The Colbert Report

Langur Monkey Security

Season 6 • 10/05/2010

Stephen will have langur monkeys patrolling the perimeter of his March to Keep Fear Alive.

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07:10

Eugene Robinson
The Colbert ReportS6

Eugene Robinson sees four categories of black America, and Stephen should feel threatened by all of them.
10/04/2010
04:00

Tip/Wag - Tea Party Coloring Book & CALM Legislation
The Colbert ReportS6

Kids learn Tea Party values from a coloring book, and the Senate prevents commercials from being played louder than TV shows.
10/04/2010
05:39

The Word - It's a Small-Minded World
The Colbert ReportS6

Disney has no choice but to assign a Muslim intern to a secluded stockroom after she refuses to remove her hijab.
10/04/2010
01:58

We World War Won It
The Colbert ReportS6

Now that Germany has finished paying its reparations for World War I, it's time to lay off the Kaiser.
10/04/2010
00:17

Sign Off - Matching Donor
The Colbert ReportS6

Remember to tell your family how much you love them because finding a matching donor is difficult.
10/04/2010
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen says goodnight.
10/05/2010
02:30

American Sexual Habits
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen demonstrates different combinations of sex since he's done it in every way imaginable.
10/05/2010
06:45

Leon Botstein
The Colbert ReportS6

Leon Botstein has made it mandatory for college freshmen at Bard to take a three-week intensive on a scientific discipline.
10/05/2010
00:26

Intro - 10/5/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen looks at the drug war in Mexico, and Leon Botstein wants to eliminate the last two years of high school.
10/05/2010
06:59

Gang Busters - John Burnett
The Colbert ReportS6

John Burnett says recreational drug users are contributing directly to the mayhem in Mexico.
10/05/2010
02:45

Langur Monkey Security
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen announces his langur monkey security plan and asks you to donate to DonorsChoose.org.
10/05/2010
06:48

Rawesome Foods Raid
The Colbert ReportS6

The federal government declares war on raw milk by raiding Rawesome Foods in Venice, CA.
10/06/2010
00:26

Intro - 10/6/10
The Colbert ReportS6

The government tries to take control of America's food, and Mavis Staples and Wilco's Jeff Tweedy perform.
10/06/2010
03:31

Tiny Triumphs - Environmentalist Ear Pollution
The Colbert ReportS6

Frito-Lay discontinues its biodegradable chip bags, and residents file lawsuits about the noise caused by wind turbines.
10/06/2010
05:19

Mavis Staples & Jeff Tweedy
The Colbert ReportS6

Mavis Staples discusses her arranged marriage with Jeff Tweedy, recalls opening for Martin Luther King Jr. and denies singing the devil's music.
10/06/2010
00:07

Sign Off - You Are Not Alone
The Colbert ReportS6

Get the album by Mavis Staples and Jeff Tweedy, "You Are Not Alone," today.
10/06/2010
00:17

Sign Off - Don't Go to DonorsChoose.com
The Colbert ReportS6

Go to DonorsChoose.org, not the crazy porn site, DonorsChoose.com.
10/07/2010
02:45

Indecision 2010 - Revenge of the Fallen - FearStock.com
The Colbert ReportS6

To address the tragic shortage in stock photos of scary minorities, Stephen starts his own fear-based photo licensing service.
10/07/2010
03:17

DonorsChoose.org Fear Drawings
The Colbert ReportS6

Kids show their gratitude for donations made to DonorsChoose.org with scary drawings of a shark, a logrolling bat and Conan O'Brien.
10/07/2010
07:18

Proposition 19 - Joseph Califano & Gary Johnson
The Colbert ReportS6

Joseph Califano wants to keep pot out of the hands of kids, while Gary Johnson thinks legalization is the right thing to do.
10/07/2010
06:31

Davis Guggenheim
The Colbert ReportS6

Davis Guggenheim explains how America's failing public schools affect Stephen's gated neighborhood.
10/07/2010
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