The Colbert Report

Intro - 10/9/12

Season 9 • 10/09/2012

Russia tries to claim the North Pole, Mitt Romney threatens Iran, and Morrissey joins Stephen.

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02:39

Obama's Debate Apathy & PBS
The Colbert ReportS9

President Obama acts like he doesn't want to debate, and the Alpha Mitt plans to can Jim Lehrer and Big Bird.
10/04/2012
01:06

Sign Off - Welcome Baby Brumm!
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen's writer sends a story pitch during his first day with his new daughter.
10/08/2012
03:33

Koch Brothers & Orc Senate Candidate
The Colbert ReportS9

Charles and David Koch pledge $1 million to Arkansas House Republicans, and Maine state Senate candidate Colleen Lachowicz gets slammed for her gaming hobby.
10/08/2012
00:29

Intro - 10/8/12
The Colbert ReportS9

A new minority forms, campaign attacks target personal hobbies, and Mark Kelly plugs his children's book, "Mousetronaut."
10/08/2012
03:41

Unemployment Below Eight Percent
The Colbert ReportS9

The Bureau of Labor Statistics cooks the books for Barack Obama while his government-mooching allies get off the couch and go to work.
10/08/2012
05:36

Mark Kelly
The Colbert ReportS9

Former astronaut Mark Kelly recalls the Endeavour's final mission, Stephen's shuttle landing and the story behind "Mousetronaut."
10/08/2012
03:34

Mitt Romney's Vague, Long-Winded Foreign Threats
The Colbert ReportS9

Mitt Romney proves he knows what Americans want in international relations: a few extra wars in Syria, Iran, Afghanistan and Libya.
10/09/2012
05:10

Morrissey
The Colbert ReportS9

The former lead singer of "The Smiths" talks about the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, radical vegetarianism and his song "Meat Is Murder."
10/09/2012
03:20

President Obama's Obsessiveness Plea
The Colbert ReportS9

In the face of Mitt Romney starting to run for president, President Obama reveals his desperation during a California fundraiser.
10/09/2012
04:39

Smokin' Pole - The Quest for Arctic Riches - China & Russia
The Colbert ReportS9

Greenland officials see through China's sudden interest in their country, and Russia makes its holy mark on the North Pole.
10/09/2012
00:39

Intro - 10/9/12
The Colbert ReportS9

Russia sets its sights on the North Pole, Mitt Romney sends a warning to Iran, and music legend Morrissey stands up for animals.
10/09/2012
04:43

ThreatDown - Apple Fan-Bears, Drunk Cars & Bears
The Colbert ReportS9

Bears choose FaceTime over eating people's faces and discover that Americans are most vulnerable at the mall.
10/10/2012
05:36

Naomi Wolf
The Colbert ReportS9

Naomi Wolf explores low sexual desire among women, vaginal anatomy and America's outdated cultural script on sex.
10/10/2012
00:08

Sign Off - "Vagina: A New Biography"
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen reads up on female anatomy.
10/10/2012
04:54

The Word - Meducation
The Colbert ReportS9

Since America can't afford all the teachers it would take to give children personal attention, doctors recommend psychostimulants to improve kids' grades.
10/10/2012
04:56

Beverage-Based Polling & Pizza Toppings Town Hall
The Colbert ReportS9

The 7-Eleven coffee cup poll has a margin of error of "Mormons can't drink coffee," and Pizza Hut promises one town hall questioner free pies for life.
10/10/2012
00:35

Intro - 10/10/12
The Colbert ReportS9

America's education system finds answers, highways encounter trouble, and Naomi Wolf talks about her book, "Vagina: A New Biography."
10/10/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
10/11/2012
04:55

Chrystia Freeland
The Colbert ReportS9

In her book "Plutocrats," Chrystia Freeland argues that today's global economy allows the super rich to disregard the American middle class.
10/11/2012
07:36

This Changes Everything - Obama's Martian Gayness
The Colbert ReportS9

Rumors of President Obama's secret gay Martian past emanate from a top-secret government space teleportation program.
10/11/2012
02:36

The Vice-Presidential Debate
The Colbert ReportS9

Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan debate in Kentucky, and critics question Barack Obama's relationship to moderator Martha Raddatz's ex-husband.
10/11/2012
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