The Colbert Report
Intro - 7/30/09
Season 5 • 07/30/2009
Stephen's roommate, Frank, sits at Stephen's desk for the intro.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Tour de France & Robotic Baseball
A person who isn't Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France, and Japanese robots make baseball interesting.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Watch Without Blinking
If you watch this episode again without blinking, you get three percent more programming.
The Colbert ReportS5 Frank the Roommate
After Viacom's profits fall by 32%, Stephen cuts his costs by taking on a roommate.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kevin Baker
Kevin Baker believes President Obama sees what needs to be done but is too reluctant to break with Congress.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt It
Racism is nothing more than an unpleasant nuisance that is best to ignore, like a fart.
The Colbert ReportS5 White House Beer Summit
Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates Jr. and James Crowley insist on three different brands of foreign beer for their White House meeting.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kathryn Bigelow
Kathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Man-Words & Movits!
Educators ban man-words from textbooks, and Stephen discovers America's newest pop sensation, Movits!
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Taco Bell Spokesdog
Taco Bell's beloved spokesdog, Gidget, is on a farm upstate, playing with other dogs that are dead.
The Colbert ReportS5 MeTunes - Hit of the Summer
Stephen can't get behind current hits from The Black Eyed Peas, Jeremih and Sean Kingston, so he creates his own song of the summer.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/30/09
Stephen can't start the show because his roommate, Frank, is sitting at his desk.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tony Zinni
General Tony Zinni cites David Petraeus, Barack Obama and Richard Branson as examples of great leaders.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bears & Balls - How to Pay for Health Care
Democrats want to pay for health care reform by taxing sodas and killing old people.
The Colbert ReportS5 Nailed 'Em - War on Birth Control
The Fairfax County School Board nails a teen junkie for taking birth control in the cafeteria.
The Colbert ReportS5 Dominic Philip's Book Habit
Stephen cures Dominic Philip's reading habit by sending him an entire box of books and forcing him to read every last one of them.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 8/3/09
President Obama finds a way to pay for health care, and General Anthony Zinni will wax Stephen's chest.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Hippie Replacement
Soon America's grassroots people-power movements will be rid of the one thing that's holding them back: people.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kurt Andersen
According to Kurt Andersen, the economic and health crises give Americans a brief chance to get things where they want them.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Love Makes the World Go Round
Love makes the world go round, so stop hogging all the credit, physics.
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