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The Colbert Report
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About
The Colbert Report
Intro - 7/30/09
Season 5 • 07/30/2009
Stephen's roommate, Frank, sits at Stephen's desk for the intro.
More
Watching
03:19
Sport Report - Tour de France & Robotic Baseball
The Colbert Report
S5
A person who isn't Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France, and Japanese robots make baseball interesting.
07/29/2009
00:21
Sign Off - Watch Without Blinking
The Colbert Report
S5
If you watch this episode again without blinking, you get three percent more programming.
07/29/2009
03:04
Frank the Roommate
The Colbert Report
S5
After Viacom's profits fall by 32%, Stephen cuts his costs by taking on a roommate.
07/29/2009
05:17
Kevin Baker
The Colbert Report
S5
Kevin Baker believes President Obama sees what needs to be done but is too reluctant to break with Congress.
07/29/2009
06:51
The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt It
The Colbert Report
S5
Racism is nothing more than an unpleasant nuisance that is best to ignore, like a fart.
07/29/2009
02:49
White House Beer Summit
The Colbert Report
S5
Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates Jr. and James Crowley insist on three different brands of foreign beer for their White House meeting.
07/30/2009
04:37
Kathryn Bigelow
The Colbert Report
S5
Kathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.
07/30/2009
03:55
Tip/Wag - Man-Words & Movits!
The Colbert Report
S5
Educators ban man-words from textbooks, and Stephen discovers America's newest pop sensation, Movits!
07/30/2009
02:06
Sign Off - Taco Bell Spokesdog
The Colbert Report
S5
Taco Bell's beloved spokesdog, Gidget, is on a farm upstate, playing with other dogs that are dead.
07/30/2009
05:55
MeTunes - Hit of the Summer
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen can't get behind current hits from The Black Eyed Peas, Jeremih and Sean Kingston, so he creates his own song of the summer.
07/30/2009
00:14
Intro - 7/30/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen can't start the show because his roommate, Frank, is sitting at his desk.
07/30/2009
05:07
Tony Zinni
The Colbert Report
S5
General Tony Zinni cites David Petraeus, Barack Obama and Richard Branson as examples of great leaders.
08/03/2009
00:03
Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert Report
S5
That's it for the show, everybody.
08/03/2009
05:14
Bears & Balls - How to Pay for Health Care
The Colbert Report
S5
Democrats want to pay for health care reform by taxing sodas and killing old people.
08/03/2009
04:46
Nailed 'Em - War on Birth Control
The Colbert Report
S5
The Fairfax County School Board nails a teen junkie for taking birth control in the cafeteria.
08/03/2009
02:56
Dominic Philip's Book Habit
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen cures Dominic Philip's reading habit by sending him an entire box of books and forcing him to read every last one of them.
08/03/2009
00:31
Intro - 8/3/09
The Colbert Report
S5
President Obama finds a way to pay for health care, and General Anthony Zinni will wax Stephen's chest.
08/03/2009
04:57
The Word - Hippie Replacement
The Colbert Report
S5
Soon America's grassroots people-power movements will be rid of the one thing that's holding them back: people.
08/04/2009
06:24
Kurt Andersen
The Colbert Report
S5
According to Kurt Andersen, the economic and health crises give Americans a brief chance to get things where they want them.
08/04/2009
00:10
Sign Off - Love Makes the World Go Round
The Colbert Report
S5
Love makes the world go round, so stop hogging all the credit, physics.
08/04/2009
04:57
Colbert Bump Cocktail - David Wondrich
The Colbert Report
S5
David Wondrich serves Stephen drinks from the Great Depression and the Civil War, and invents a Colbert Bump cocktail.
08/04/2009
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A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie
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This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends
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10/10/2022
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01:22
Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
Out of Office
A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
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00:35
A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
South Park
S25
Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022