The Colbert Report
Shout Out - Honey, Counterterrorism & an Old Guard Flag
Season 5 • 02/10/2009
Stephen is terrified that on any given calendar day he might be terrified of the wrong thing.
Economic Stimulus DebateThe Colbert ReportS5
Democrats take a page from the Republicans' fear book when selling the economic stimulus bill.
Intro - 2/9/09The Colbert ReportS5
A married lesbian couple files for divorce and moves into separate Subaru Outbacks, and someone won a Grammy.
The New Word CzarThe Colbert ReportS5
Michael Steele navigates the subtleties of our language as he talks about the stimulus bill.
Al Gore Steals Stephen's GrammyThe Colbert ReportS5
Since Stephen's voice isn't worth a Grammy, he's going to stop talking forever.
ThreatDown - Gay DivorceThe Colbert ReportS5
A lesbian couple files for divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable sameness, and the Japanese poop gold.
The Visa Black CardThe Colbert ReportS5
Visa: it's everywhere you want to be, unless that place is a Jimmy Buffett concert.
The Word - Loyal OppositionThe Colbert ReportS5
The best way for Republicans to win back the trust of the people is to copy the strategy of our enemies.
You Look Like StephenThe Colbert ReportS5
You look like Stephen, if he were on a curvy, glassy thing.
Intro - 2/10/09The Colbert ReportS5
Tough times for the Republican Party -- this sounds like a job for tax cuts.
Robert BallardThe Colbert ReportS5
Robert Ballard explains why ocean exploration is a good investment.
Shout Out - Honey, Counterterrorism & an Old Guard FlagThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen gets a fresh stash of pharmaceutical-grade hive jive and learns of a Counterterrorism Calendar.
Truth From the GutThe Colbert ReportS5
Forget looking into each other's eyes for the truth, we need to look into each other's guts.
Good Night -- Except for the West CoastThe Colbert ReportS5
That's it for The Report, unless you are watching on the West Coast.
Intro - 2/11/09The Colbert ReportS5
Wshington, D.C. wants a vote, and Glenn Beck brings innovation to Fox News.
Westminster Dog Show Snub - Formula 40-WoofThe Colbert ReportS5
Pick up some Formula 40-Woof today if you want your dog to be a winner.
DC Voting Rights Act - Eleanor Holmes NortonThe Colbert ReportS5
Eleanor Holmes Norton will give Stephen a key to DC when residents get their voting rights.
Steven PinkerThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wonders if putting your genome on the Internet is like posting the social security number that God gave you.
The DaColbert Code - Oscar PredictionsThe Colbert ReportS5
Instead of watching the movies, Stephen uses the DaColbert Code to pick the Oscar winners.
Adam GopnikThe Colbert ReportS5
Adam Gopnik claims that faith and fear no longer rule our lives because of Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin.
Goodbye, Conan O'BrienThe Colbert ReportS5
Conan O'Brien has to get his invisible strings from Stephen if he ever wants to do his little dance again.
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