The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 09/13/2007
Stephen doesn't need another Emmy, but he deserves one.
Joel KleinThe Colbert ReportS3
New York City Schools Chancellor Joel Klein is willing to pay kids for good grades while Stephen is willing to pay kids to smoke and play video games.
Intro - 9/12/07The Colbert ReportS3
If NYC Schools Chancellor Joel Klein visits Stephen, then who's chancelling the schools?
1-888-MOPS-KEYThe Colbert ReportS3
In the year since the last appearance of the Atone Phone, 1-888-OOPS-JEW has been taken by another company.
The Word - Re-RunThe Colbert ReportS3
MSNBC's unedited rebroadcast of the events of 9/11 gives Stephen an idea for boosting the president's approval ratings.
Tek Jansen - Beginning's First Dawn: Episode OneThe Colbert ReportS3
Tek Jansen's latest adventure is his first adventure, from space dog vending to a fateful fall.
Intro - 9/13/07The Colbert ReportS3
Tonight's episode is Stephen's last show before the Emmys and he will expose the truth about Mother Teresa and interview Ed Begley Jr.
Father James MartinThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Father James Martin if he was shocked to find out that Mother Teresa is probably in hell.
WristStrongThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen suggests that Matt Lauer slip his WristStrong bracelet to President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Stephen for President - Answering the CallThe Colbert ReportS3
Viggo Mortensen surrenders a huge letter opener to Stephen as a sign for him to run for president.
Ed Begley Jr.The Colbert ReportS3
Ed Begley Jr. became interested in environmental issues as a Boy Scout and maintained his interest only to gain more merit badges.
The EmmysThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen has nothing against the other Emmy nominees -- except Jon Stewart.
Intro - 9/18/07The Colbert ReportS3
Tonight, Stephen reports on changes to the California electoral system, profiles one of America's unsung heroes and interviews Susan Sarandon.
Susan SarandonThe Colbert ReportS3
Susan Sarandon tells Stephen that her phone was bugged because Sean Penn was probably calling her.
Difference Makers - Nitro GirlThe Colbert ReportS3
Nitro Girl is the most patriotic giant American woman since the Statue of Liberty -- and she does it all without inviting immigrants to invade our country.
The Word - Let My People GoThe Colbert ReportS3
Every presidential election year, California's 55 electoral college votes go to the Democratic candidate just because more people voted for him.
Naomi WolfThe Colbert ReportS3
Naomi Wolf says America is on the road to fascism. Stephen calls Head of Secret Police!
Intro - 9/19/07The Colbert ReportS3
A college student is tasered at a Kerry speech, America is taking forever to turn into a fascist state and Stephen's carbon footprint is Prada.
Colbert Platinum - Green EditionThe Colbert ReportS3
We should all learn to recycle like Louis Vuitton and the new patchwork bag.
The Word - SolitarityThe Colbert ReportS3
If that young man who was tasered expected his peers to rise up in protest, he was asking the wrong generation.
The Word - Market ForcesThe Colbert ReportS3
When it comes to getting killed, innocent Iraqis have never had so many choices.
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