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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Gonzales Forgot
Season 3 • 04/23/2007
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales took Stephen's advice and forgot everything.
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Watching
00:33
The Colbert Report
S3
Hyperbole-Off
Stephen may have lost the Meta-Free-Phor-All to Sean Penn, but he will not lose his upcoming Hyperbole-Off to George Clooney.
04/19/2007
02:34
The Colbert Report
S3
God's Pet Chimp
Human DNA has stopped evolving because God got us right the first time when he intelligently designed us.
04/19/2007
08:27
The Colbert Report
S3
Meta-Free-Phor-All: Shall I Nail Thee to a Summer's Day?
Stephen has a metaphor for Sean Penn: Sean Penn is a big mean jerk, and Stephen hates him.
04/19/2007
02:59
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - $400 Haircut
Sure, John Edwards grew up poor, but if he really cared about the poor, he would have stayed poor.
04/19/2007
02:08
The Colbert Report
S3
Stephanie's Winning!
Stephen's adopted turtle, Stephanie Colbertle, is leading the Great Turtle Race, while two other lady turtles hang back at the nesting grounds, listening to Melissa Etheridge.
04/23/2007
04:51
The Colbert Report
S3
ThreatDown - MySpace
It's bad enough that MySpace exposes our teens to child predators, now they're corrupting our youth with journalism.
04/23/2007
00:30
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 4/23/07
Conservatives want a fresh new face, Sheryl Crow confronts Karl Rove and Def Jam's Russell Simmons sits down with Stephen.
04/23/2007
04:58
The Colbert Report
S3
Mike Huckabee - Running Mate Bid
Mike Huckabee and Stephen talk about plastic fruit and rowing in paddleboats in Central Park.
04/23/2007
00:11
The Colbert Report
S3
Colbert Nation Online Discussion Group
Stephen speaks to those interested in joining a Colbert Nation discussion group.
04/23/2007
05:45
The Colbert Report
S3
Russell Simmons
Russell Simmons talks about Oprah, diamonds and the secret to success.
04/23/2007
00:42
The Colbert Report
S3
Gonzales Forgot
Alberto Gonzales said 71 times that he couldn't remember details on the U.S. attorney firings, but he only remembers saying it once.
04/23/2007
03:22
The Colbert Report
S3
D.C. Voting Rights - Eleanor Holmes Norton
Stephen tells Eleanor Holmes Norton that this is the United States of America, not the United Districts of Columbia of America.
04/24/2007
03:18
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - Act Globally
According to the head of the EPA, George W. Bush is making major progress -- there is a 4/10ths of one percent reduction in the increase of greenhouse gasses.
04/24/2007
02:48
The Colbert Report
S3
60% Good News
When Stephen watches "Fox & Friends," he feels like he's watching a Disney movie about the news.
04/24/2007
06:32
The Colbert Report
S3
Dr. Andrew Weil
Dr. Andrew Weil tells Stephen that it's possible to channel his rage in a useful way and that he finds Dr. House to be too cynical.
04/24/2007
00:55
The Colbert Report
S3
Bye-Bye to Boris
Russia's first democratically elected President, Boris Yeltsin, has passed away and the New York Post has paid tribute with their usual class and sensitivity.
04/24/2007
01:12
The Colbert Report
S3
Sign Off - Captain Lead
Stephen reminisces about his favorite childhood toys: Captain Lead, General Light Socket, Admiral Dry Cleaning Bag, Lieutenant Fluffy -- and his wad of asbestos.
04/24/2007
00:32
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 4/24/07
Stephen discusses President Bush's fight against global warming and the two seats being considered for Congress, and sits down with new age medical guru Dr. Andrew Weil.
04/24/2007
01:35
The Colbert Report
S3
Alpha Dog of the Week - Uncle Ben
After 61 years, Uncle Ben is now not only spokesman of his products but CEO of the company.
04/24/2007
01:18
The Colbert Report
S3
New Issue of GQ
Stephen expects the new issue of GQ with him on the cover to be the most popular issue they've ever had.
04/25/2007
04:52
The Colbert Report
S3
Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-Calypse - Prayer
People don't develop special powers, they pray for them. The only reason Superman can fly is because Jesus is carrying him.
04/25/2007
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Cursed Friends
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Out of Office
Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
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South Park
S25
A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022