The Colbert Report
Intro - 11/4/09
Season 5 • 11/04/2009
Stephen analyzes yesterday's election results. Oh crap, he forgot to vote.
Intro - 11/5/09The Colbert ReportS5
Canadian athletes dope with beaver musk to gain an unfair advantage at the Winter Games, and William Bratton runs from the law.
Formidable Opponent - Global Warming With Al GoreThe Colbert ReportS5
Al Gore explains to Stephen and Stephen and Al Gore that stopping global warming doesn't have to hurt the economy.
Harold EvansThe Colbert ReportS5
Harold Evans talks about being married to Tina Brown, getting knighted by the queen and exposing spies in the British government.
Guy-FawkersThe Colbert ReportS5
Michele Bachmann one-ups the tea party protests by holding a health care reform rally on Guy Fawkes Day.
'09 Off-Year Semi-Presidential ElectferendumThe Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama loses the New Jersey and Virginia gubernatorial races, and Chris Christie uses Monty Python to attack Jon Corzine.
Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh & Us WeeklyThe Colbert ReportS5
Rush Limbaugh has no clue about who will beat Barack Obama in 2012, and Us Weekly judges celebrities' kids on their appearance.
William BrattonThe Colbert ReportS5
William Bratton works to take the American police force model to emerging democracies and post-conflict nations.
Cheating Death - Swine Flu Scam Detector & VaxacondaThe Colbert ReportS5
The Prescott Swine Flu Scam Detector exposes fake treatments, while Vaxaconda prevents kidney failure and rodent infestations.
Sign Off - Donate to U.S. SpeedskatingThe Colbert ReportS5
Don't forget to donate to the U.S. Speedskating team.
Sign Off - Poison GasThe Colbert ReportS5
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here -- Stephen's flooding the studio with poison gas.
Intro - 11/4/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen takes a wait-and-swim approach to global warming and talks to Harold Evans about the newspaper business.
Trouble, CoverageThe Colbert ReportS5
The House Democrats pass health care reform while Republicans are at home watching Wanda Sykes' new show.
U.S. Speedskating Team Takes GoldThe Colbert ReportS5
Thanks to the Colbert Nation, the U.S. Speedskating team wins the gold at the World Cup.
Intro - 11/9/09The Colbert ReportS5
The House passes a health care bill late Saturday night, and Stephen ignores Thomas Campbell's suggested donation request.
Better Know a District - Delaware's At-Large - Mike CastleThe Colbert ReportS5
Congressman Mike Castle doesn't believe Delaware should allow people to marry chickens.
Thomas CampbellThe Colbert ReportS5
Thomas Campbell explains to Stephen why people come to see art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Sign Off - You Can't Take It With YouThe Colbert ReportS5
You can't take it with you, but you can lick it so no one else takes it when you're gone.
Intro - 11/10/09The Colbert ReportS5
The Iranian revolution celebrates 30 years, and Stephen assumes Maria Shriver's new charity is California.
Barney Frank Is Not a Great OutdoorsmanThe Colbert ReportS5
Just because Barney Frank authored a bill to legalize medical marijuana doesn't mean he could recognize a pot plant.
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