The Colbert Report

Intro - 4/18/07

Season 3 • 04/18/2007

Britain stops using the phrase "war on terror" or, as they pronounce it, "schedule."

More

Watching

description unavailable
00:33

Intro - 4/17/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen questions President Bush's plans for Iraq, investigates a new study on teen abstinence and interviews author Elaine Pagels.
04/17/2007
description unavailable
04:13

Tip/Wag - Fake Sperm
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wags his finger at abstinence education, cell phones, fake sperm and those who can't hack it.
04/17/2007
description unavailable
03:35

Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer
The Colbert ReportS3

According to the Pulitzer's, Henry Ward Beecher is the Most Famous Man in America, but the last time Stephen checked, he didn't have a diet named after him or a sex tape.
04/18/2007
description unavailable
03:37

The Word - Branding
The Colbert ReportS3

Corporations may not be used to having their names associated with human suffering, but think of the ad space.
04/18/2007
description unavailable
00:12

Sign Off - Upcoming Metaphor-Off
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen's going to take on Sean Penn like white takes on rice.
04/18/2007
description unavailable
04:38

Milk & Hormones
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen shares an educational video about Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone, aka "Jesus Milk."
04/18/2007
description unavailable
00:21

National Library Week - Sebastian Junger
The Colbert ReportS3

Author Sebastian Junger celebrates National Library Week by asking us to buy his books.
04/18/2007
description unavailable
00:17

National Library Week - David Remnick
The Colbert ReportS3

David Remnick suggests that if you subscribe to the New Yorker but want even more unread material, visit your local library.
04/18/2007
description unavailable
00:47

National Library Week - Frank McCourt
The Colbert ReportS3

English teacher Frank McCourt stresses the importance of books, but if he were a shop teacher he would be stressing the importance of plywood.
04/18/2007
description unavailable
05:50

Paulina Porizkova
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen can verify Paulina Porizkova as a supermodel because he is an arbiter of American taste.
04/18/2007
description unavailable
00:30

Intro - 4/18/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Britain stops using the phrase "war on terror," debate rises over bovine growth hormones and supermodel Paulina Porizkova joins Stephen in the studio.
04/18/2007
description unavailable
00:30

Intro - 4/19/07
The Colbert ReportS3

John Edwards spends $400 on a haircut, and Sean Penn faces off against Stephen in an epic battle of the metaphors.
04/19/2007
description unavailable
05:00

Sean Penn
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Sean Penn if he snuck weapons of mass destruction out of Iraq in a bulky raincoat to embarrass the president.
04/19/2007
description unavailable
00:33

Hyperbole-Off
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen may have lost the Meta-Free-Phor-All to Sean Penn, but he will not lose his upcoming Hyperbole-Off to George Clooney.
04/19/2007
description unavailable
02:34

God's Pet Chimp
The Colbert ReportS3

Human DNA has stopped evolving because God got us right the first time when he intelligently designed us.
04/19/2007
description unavailable
08:27

Meta-Free-Phor-All: Shall I Nail Thee to a Summer's Day?
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen has a metaphor for Sean Penn: Sean Penn is a big mean jerk, and Stephen hates him.
04/19/2007
description unavailable
02:59

The Word - $400 Haircut
The Colbert ReportS3

Sure, John Edwards grew up poor, but if he really cared about the poor, he would have stayed poor.
04/19/2007
description unavailable
02:08

Stephanie's Winning!
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen's adopted turtle, Stephanie Colbertle, is leading the Great Turtle Race, while two other lady turtles hang back at the nesting grounds, listening to Melissa Etheridge.
04/23/2007
description unavailable
00:42

Gonzales Forgot
The Colbert ReportS3

Alberto Gonzales said 71 times that he couldn't remember details on the U.S. attorney firings, but he only remembers saying it once.
04/23/2007
description unavailable
04:51

ThreatDown - MySpace
The Colbert ReportS3

It's bad enough that MySpace exposes our teens to child predators, now they're corrupting our youth with journalism.
04/23/2007
description unavailable
00:30

Intro - 4/23/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Conservatives want a fresh new face, Sheryl Crow confronts Karl Rove and Def Jam's Russell Simmons sits down with Stephen.
04/23/2007
You may also like5 Videos
description unavailable
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
description unavailable
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
description unavailable
Trailer
01:22

Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
Out of Office

A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
description unavailable
Trailer
00:35

A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
South ParkS25

Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022
description unavailable
Trailer
00:29

Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday
Hot Mess Holiday

Melanie Chandra and Surina Jindal embark on a zany weekend adventure during Diwali in the Comedy Central original movie Hot Mess Holiday, now streaming.
12/20/2021