The Colbert Report
Season 7 • 08/10/2011
Elliot Ackerman's website AmericansElect.org lets all voters participate in primary elections.
Intro - 8/9/11The Colbert ReportS7
Record temperatures sweep the heartland, the Internet doesn't make for better human beings, and legendary rockers The Cars perform.
The Word - Head in the CloudThe Colbert ReportS7
Technology turns people into empty flesh terminals that rely on it for all their ideas, memories and relationships.
HeatsteriaThe Colbert ReportS7
Part-time weather balloon Rush Limbaugh exposes the government-manufactured heat index conspiracy, while SpongeBob brainwashes kids with global warming propaganda.
Ric OcasekThe Colbert ReportS7
The Cars' Ric Ocasek remembers the '80s music scene and promises Stephen any future Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Awards.
God's Job Performance - Jim MartinThe Colbert ReportS7
Father Jim Martin believes that God's job is sustaining the universe, but His performance can't be judged.
Sign Off - E-Mailing Colbert NationThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen types up e-mails on his MacBook Air and says goodnight.
Intro - 8/10/11The Colbert ReportS7
God should improve His image, campaign fundraisers have a new weapon, and Elliot Ackerman's website matches voters with candidates.
Yahweh or No Way - Mormons & God's Poll NumbersThe Colbert ReportS7
The Mormon Church's PR campaign makes Mormons irresistibly cool, while only 52% of Americans approve of God.
Hooker-Drawer MarketThe Colbert ReportS7
The New York Post explains the volatile stock market with analysis that everyone can understand.
Colbert Super PAC - Campaign Donation AddictionThe Colbert ReportS7
Political junkies get a fix through compulsive donations to presidential campaigns.
Elliot AckermanThe Colbert ReportS7
AmericansElect.org CEO Elliot Ackerman believes that individuals should have the power and tools to draft and directly nominate their own presidential candidate.
Gloria SteinemThe Colbert ReportS7
Gloria Steinem believes Americans know that women can do what men can do, but they don't know that men can do what women can do.
Colbert Super PAC - Confused by Rick Parry with an "A" for AmericaThe Colbert ReportS7
The fat cat media elites in Des Moines think they can sit in their ivory corn silos and play puppet master with national politics.
Super PAC Ad - Behind The Green CornThe Colbert ReportS7
Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow gives Iowans the cornography they deserve.
Romney 2012 - "Corporations Are People"The Colbert ReportS7
Mitt Romney's historic statement of corporate personhood makes him this generation's civil rights champion.
Colbert Super PAC - Rick Parry with an "A" for AmericaThe Colbert ReportS7
The Palin bus arrives in Iowa, and Stephen reveals an ear-sizzling hot-buttered Colbert Super PAC ad that appeals to Iowa's basest kernel instinct.
Sign Off - Stephen's Emmy AwardThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen pulls out his Emmy Award and says goodnight.
Susan Rice Pt. 2The Colbert ReportS7
Ambassador Susan Rice explains U.S. involvement in Syria and Libya, and tells Colbert Nation what they can do to help with Somalia's humanitarian tragedy.
Colbert Super PAC - Iowa Straw Poll ResultsThe Colbert ReportS7
Michele Bachmann gets a commanding 80% of the votes she paid for at the Iowa straw poll, and "Rick Parry" receives at least 718 write-in votes.
Susan Rice Pt. 1The Colbert ReportS7
U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice believes the U.N. is the one place where America can marshal the military and financial support of other nations.
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