Stan Chooses Scientology
South Park
Season 9 E 12 • 11/16/2005

When Kyle tells Stan he thinks Scientology is wrong, Stan Chooses Scientology over their friendship.

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01:02

Birthdays That Matter - Unproblematic Celebrations
The Daily Show with Trevor NoahS26

Desi Lydic acknowledges the birthdays of complicated celebrities like "Baywatch" legend Pamela Anderson, Hollywood superstar Tom Cruise and infamous boxer Mike Tyson.
07/09/2021
Exclusive
01:19

Birthdays That Matter - Unproblematic Celebrations
The Daily Show with Trevor NoahS26

Desi Lydic acknowledges the birthdays of complicated celebrities like "Baywatch" legend Pamela Anderson, Hollywood superstar Tom Cruise and infamous boxer Mike Tyson.
07/02/2021
01:27

Scam on a Global Scale
South ParkS9 E12

When Stan tells the head Scientologist about his idea to make membership in the church free, the head Scientologist tells him Scientology's a Scam on a Global Scale.
11/16/2005
00:55

Stan Chooses Scientology
South ParkS9 E12

When Kyle tells Stan he thinks Scientology is wrong, Stan Chooses Scientology over their friendship.
11/16/2005
01:26

Tom Cruise Won't Come Out of The Closet
South ParkS9 E12

Tom Cruise is seeking approval for his acting career. Stan doesn't tell him what he wants to hear.
11/16/2005
00:45

OT 9
South ParkS9 E12

Stan's off-the-charts thetin results are rushed to the head of Scientology, who immediately knows their cause: Stan is the second coming of the great leader.
11/16/2005
02:59

What Scientologist Actually Believe
South ParkS9 E12

The head of the Church of Scientology tells Stan the creation myth that Scientologists believe.
11/16/2005
02:11

Fax These Results to Los Angeles
South ParkS9 E12

Stan uses his bike money to get audited by the Scientologists. His E-Meter scores are higher than any the Scientologists have ever seen.
11/16/2005
02:43

Free Personality Test
South ParkS9 E12

Stan's saving his money so he can buy a new bike. Luckily, the personality test Scientologists administer is free.
11/16/2005
02:02

Go Ahead, Sue Me!
South ParkS9 E12

Stan tells the truth about the scam behind Scientology. The Scientologists want to sue him.
11/16/2005
02:06

The Goth Chick From "The Breakfast Club"
South ParkS7 E3

The boys are split up and questioned. Cartman will kill Kyle if he takes a deal.
04/02/2003
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