The Colbert Report

Behavioral Profiling

Season 2 E 126 • 10/05/2006

Security personnel won't say exactly what suspicious behaviors they look for, but Stephen will.

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00:35

Intro - 10/4/06
The Colbert ReportS2 E125

Tonight: TV cameras in the Supreme Court, the Nobel Prize Patrol coming to a scientist's door with a giant check and North Dakota Senator Byron Dorgan's anti-outsourcing book.
10/04/2006
01:40

Green Screen Challenge - D&D
The Colbert ReportS2 E125

With only a week left to go in the Green Screen Challenge, Stephen shows Brian Pope's D&D-themed entry about the death of Farynieth the 21st-level paladin.
10/04/2006
03:37

Nobel Prize Sweep
The Colbert ReportS2 E125

Three Nobel Prizes have been awarded thus far and all three have gone to Americans. The USA is getting ready to go for the sweep.
10/04/2006
02:47

The Word - Must-Not-See TV
The Colbert ReportS2 E125

Sen. Arlen Specter has introduced a bill to put TV cameras in the Supreme Court. Some justices are against the bill, and they're right -- often far right.
10/04/2006
02:19

Handling Sex Scandals
The Colbert ReportS2 E126

Stephen can't decide who the luckiest bastard in the world is, the one who was going to lose to Mark Foley, or the one who was going to lose to Dennis Hastert.
10/05/2006
00:30

Intro - 10/5/06
The Colbert ReportS2 E126

Racial profiling continues in airports, a district is better known, and Amy Goodman decries corporate sponsorship of the media.
10/05/2006
01:48

Starbucks Price Hike
The Colbert ReportS2 E126

Starbucks' nickel-per-cup price hike doesn't seem like much, but spread over 161 shows it'll cost Stephen a whopping eight bucks.
10/05/2006
05:42

Amy Goodman
The Colbert ReportS2 E126

Stephen has heard that liberal radio and TV host Amy Goodman is a real firebrand, so he wants her to bring it.
10/05/2006
03:24

Better Know a District - Florida's 16th - Mark Foley
The Colbert ReportS2 E126

Stephen better knows Florida's 16th district: famous for hurricanes, jai alai, the Burt Reynolds museum and Representative Mark Foley.
10/05/2006
04:15

Maz Jobrani
The Colbert ReportS2 E126

After a security check, Stephen welcomes actor Maz Jobrani, who will no longer audition for the role of a terrorist.
10/05/2006
02:09

Behavioral Profiling
The Colbert ReportS2 E126

Security personnel have begun using behavioral profiling to identify suspicious individuals at airports. They won't say exactly what they're looking for, but Stephen will.
10/05/2006
05:08

Stephen Greets Kim Jong-il
The Colbert ReportS2 E127

Stephen greets Kim Jong-il in Korean, which he's been learning since around 1:36 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time.
10/09/2006
00:28

Intro - 10/9/06
The Colbert ReportS2 E127

Making schools safer, North Korea's nuclear bomb test, an interview with Randy Newman, and why Stephen is like Wonder Woman.
10/09/2006
05:22

Randy Newman
The Colbert ReportS2 E127

Randy Newman wonders whether he's at the McCarthy hearings -- and rolls over on George Clooney.
10/09/2006
03:32

Sport Report - Saginaw Spirit 3-0 with Steagle Colbeagle
The Colbert ReportS2 E127

Over the weekend, the Yankees were knocked out of the playoffs and T.O. returned to Philly, so let's start with Junior League Hockey.
10/09/2006
03:33

The Word - Safety
The Colbert ReportS2 E127

Stephen agrees with Wisconsin State Assemblyman Frank Lasse that the only way to keep guns out of the classroom is to put guns in the classroom.
10/09/2006
05:49

Ariel Levy
The Colbert ReportS2 E128

Ariel Levy thinks women who imitate porn stars are far from any sort of authentic sexual liberation. Stephen thinks she sounds like a Muslim fundamentalist.
10/10/2006
05:54

Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinem
The Colbert ReportS2 E128

The sparks fly when Stephen heads to the kitchen with Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda in a "Kiss the Cook" apron, and the phrase "Ice cream three-way" is coined.
10/10/2006
02:17

A Salute to the American Lady
The Colbert ReportS2 E128

Stephen has been advised by counsel not to go into any of the details of the disturbing allegations against him -- which is a shame, because they're pretty arousing.
10/10/2006
01:44

Sign Off - Mrs. Colbert
The Colbert ReportS2 E128

In Stephen's book, every person in the country is Miss America. No, better -- Mrs. Colbert.
10/10/2006
04:46

Stephen R.A.P.S. - Gender Issues
The Colbert ReportS2 E128

Stephen heads out into the audience to take on a few tough questions about gender, which he doesn't see.
10/10/2006
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