The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Headlines - Catch Us if You Scan

Season 8 • 01/08/2004

America pulls the welcome mat from terrorists with a new security system.

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04:50

Elijah Wood
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

If Elijah Wood goes into the music business, he'll either do it on his own terms or be a vicious prick.
01/07/2004
04:04

Back in Black - Regrettable Behavior
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Lewis Black reviews recent sports celebrity bad behavior -- Pete Rose's gambling admission, Joe Namath's sportscaster kissing and Steve Irwin's baby dangling.
01/07/2004
04:07

Mission to Mars
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

If we don't find a renewable supply of rocks on Mars, one day you may reach down for something to throw at your neighbor's window and nothing will be there.
01/07/2004
00:53

Intro - Lottery Jackpot
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

What kind of message does it send to people who work hard and spend all of their money on lottery tickets instead of food and clothing to still end up with nothing?
01/07/2004
01:20

The Colbert Report - Preview
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

On the next Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert gives it good to some guy, plus he'll read portions of his new book, "Don't Buy This Book if You Don't Have Any Balls."
01/08/2004
00:15

Moment of Zen - US-VISIT
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Tom Ridge announces that the new security system, US-VISIT will pull the welcome mat from terrorists and anyone wishing America harm.
01/08/2004
06:14

Cruisin' for a Boozin'
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Louisiana decides to join Minnesota, California and every other state in making it illegal to drink and drive.
01/08/2004
02:59

Digital Watch - Camera Phone
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Ed Helms concludes the camera phone combines the rapid battery depletion of a high-powered digital camera with the image production capability of a phone.
01/08/2004
05:25

Charlize Theron
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Charlize Theron talks about the sympathy she felt for the serial killer she portrayed in her latest movie.
01/08/2004
00:43

Intro - Hobo
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon is still not smoking, he hasn't gained any weight, but he did kill a hobo with his bare hands again.
01/08/2004
03:13

Headlines - Catch Us if You Scan
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

As a nation founded by immigrants, America honors that heritage by preserving the pictures and fingerprints of everybody entering the country.
01/08/2004
01:05

Canada Cold
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Canadians aren't polite and quiet, they're frozen stiff.
01/12/2004
03:28

Celebrity Mole
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The White House draws up Iraqi war plans, six months before the 9/11 attacks.
01/12/2004
00:43

Moment of Zen - Paul O'Neal
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Former Treasury Secretary, Paul O'Neal doesn't think he'll be attacked for telling the truth about George W. Bush.
01/12/2004
03:48

Right Out Of The Closet
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Ed Helms explains that conservatives are here and control the entire government, most major corporations and many media outlets. Get used to it.
01/12/2004
02:23

Atkins Meat Puppets
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Carbohydrates are the new evil -- just as an earlier generation scorned fat, and the generation before that, Communism.
01/12/2004
02:00

Headlines - Aliens
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

George W. Bush announces an overhaul of American's immigration policy that will offer amnesty to undocumented aliens -- if they'll vote for him.
01/12/2004
05:36

Richard Lewis
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Richard Lewis rants about President Bush, the soldiers, patriotism and domestic policy...all in one breath.
01/12/2004
03:58

Headlines - Tex Mex
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Generalissimo George W. Bush meets with Mexican President Vicente Fox.
01/13/2004
00:29

Moment of Zen - Club For Growth
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

A conservative activist group, Club for Growth, airs an ad against Howard Dean.
01/13/2004
02:19

Showdown in Iowa
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Rob Corddry believes Howard Dean should leave Iowa for the weekend and have a great time in Illinois.
01/13/2004
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