The Colbert Report

Intro - 8/13/09

Season 5 • 08/13/2009

Glenn Beck is losing sponsors. First his mind, now his sponsors?

More

Watching

02:10

Americans Sacrifice Their iPods
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen saves the environment by donating his old iPod to an endangered mountain snail.
08/12/2009
00:32

Intro - 8/12/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Americans speak Glenn Beck's mind at town hall meetings, and Mark Johnson spreads peace through music.
08/12/2009
05:19

Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Obama, NRA & Teen Choice Awards
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama awards the Medal of Freedom to Sidney Poitier, the NRA recognizes Sarah Palin for gun collecting, and Joe Jonas steals Stephen's idea at the "Teen Choice Awards."
08/12/2009
04:49

Formidable Opponent - Health Care & Burger King
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen denies ever saying Aetna is a bigger threat to America than Osama bin Laden, and Stephen heckles a Burger King commercial.
08/12/2009
03:34

Mark Johnson
The Colbert ReportS5

Mark Johnson explores the way music helps us persevere through struggles with his movement, "Playing for Change."
08/12/2009
00:20

Sign Off - Stephen's Online Information
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen's online password is always "actionman4" and his MasterCard security code is 786.
08/13/2009
05:42

Mark Devlin
The Colbert ReportS5

Mark Devlin sends giant weather balloons into space to learn about galaxies that are billions of light years away.
08/13/2009
01:35

Sheila Jackson-Lee Takes a Phone Call
The Colbert ReportS5

Sheila Jackson-Lee interrupting a cancer survivor to answer her phone looks bad, but it was a very important call.
08/13/2009
03:41

Glenn-Harried Glenn-Lost
The Colbert ReportS5

Glenn Beck didn't call President Obama a racist, and he didn't compare his health care plan to Hitler's eugenics program.
08/13/2009
06:49

Cheating Death - Blue M&Ms, Vitamin D & Hormones
The Colbert ReportS5

Blue M&Ms heal spinal injuries in rats, kids spend too much time indoors, and all women need hormones.
08/13/2009
00:40

Intro - 8/13/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Glenn Beck loses his sponsors, and Mark Devlin uses giant balloons to life telescopes to the edge of space.
08/13/2009
06:28

Even Better-er Know a District - Colorado's 2nd - Jared Polis
The Colbert ReportS5

Jared Polis didn't announce that he was gay as a political ploy to get elected in a liberal district.
08/17/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen will see you tomorrow.
08/17/2009
04:33

Bill McKibben
The Colbert ReportS5

Bill McKibben urges international leaders to take steps to lower the world's carbon dioxide levels through his 350.org movement.
08/17/2009
00:35

Intro - 8/17/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Reporters get so desperate they'll even work for a newspaper, and Bill McKibben lowers carbon dioxide levels by not exhaling when he talks.
08/17/2009
06:31

The Word - Must-Be TV
The Colbert ReportS5

If pundits want to save America, they have to do what's wrong to prove they're right.
08/17/2009
01:47

Obama Publishes Health Care Op-Ed
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama publishing an op-ed in the New York Times on health care reform is a textbook sign of surrender.
08/17/2009
06:10

Tip/Wag - German Campaign, Russian Dogs & Flying Rabbis
The Colbert ReportS5

Vera Lengsfeld uses sex to campaign in Germany, Russian dogs take the subway, and flying rabbis ward off swine flu.
08/18/2009
05:11

Robert Wright
The Colbert ReportS5

Robert Wright believes that the three major religions can help God move toward a level of tolerance and compassion.
08/18/2009
01:41

Hamid Karzai Endorsement
The Colbert ReportS5

Hamid Karzai locks up the key human rights abusers demographic with an endorsement from warlord Abdul Rashid Dostum.
08/18/2009
00:34

Intro - 8/18/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The German parliamentary election holds a surprise twist, and Robert Wright discusses religion's evolution.
08/18/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:30

The Daily Show Presents: Jordan Klepper Fingers the Pulse: Moscow Tools

Jordan Klepper investigates useful idiocy on The Daily Show Presents: Jordan Klepper Fingers the Pulse: Moscow Tools, premiering on May 20 at 11:30 PM on Comedy Central.
05/14/2024
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022