The Colbert Report

Wife of Jesus

Season 8 • 09/19/2012

An ancient text suggests that one of Stephen's last single friends, Jesus, was married.

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00:33

Intro - 9/18/12
The Colbert ReportS8

The Romney campaign runs into trouble, Apple scores a major legal victory, and Jeffrey Toobin examines President Obama's relationship with the Supreme Court.
09/18/2012
00:08

Sign Off - Shrimp Toss
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen catches a piece of shrimp in his mouth.
09/18/2012
05:20

Jeffrey Toobin
The Colbert ReportS8

CNN's senior legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin discusses the Obamacare Supreme Court decision, Super PACs and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
09/18/2012
03:26

Tip/Wag - Apple-Samsung Lawsuit & Tabloid Clash
The Colbert ReportS8

Samsung shamelessly steals a proprietary Apple design breakthrough, and two so-called news sources betray the public trust.
09/18/2012
07:04

Mitt Romney's Secret Video
The Colbert ReportS8

Mitt Romney stands by his secretly taped stance that half of Americans are mindless moochers who don't pay income tax.
09/18/2012
04:16

Logo Makeover for USA Today
The Colbert ReportS8

In a digital era where print media is struggling, USA Today is focusing its energy where it counts: the logo.
09/18/2012
04:10

Mitt Romney's & Barack Obama's Secret Videos
The Colbert ReportS8

Conservatives denounce Mitt Romney for his secret fundraising video, while Fox News boasts 14-year-old secret footage of President Obama.
09/19/2012
05:15

The Word - Ask Not
The Colbert ReportS8

Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney articulates a positive, forward-looking vision of what he wouldn't have done in the past.
09/19/2012
00:35

Intro - 9/19/12
The Colbert ReportS8

The Romney campaign unveils its new strategy, revelations surface about the life of Jesus, and world-renowned violinist Itzhak Perlman sits down with Stephen.
09/19/2012
04:15

Itzhak Perlman
The Colbert ReportS8

Acclaimed violinist Itzhak Perlman shares his early fascination with classical music and questions the Colbert Bump.
09/19/2012
02:42

Wife of Jesus
The Colbert ReportS8

Before he had a wife, Jesus was a party animal always turning water into wine and hanging out with prostitutes.
09/19/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Ask-O-Matic
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen uses his Errol Morris-inspired interview machine.
09/20/2012
05:10

Errol Morris
The Colbert ReportS8

Award-winning documentarian Errol Morris discusses the Jeffrey MacDonald murder case, the modern court system and his interview machine, the Interrotron.
09/20/2012
05:19

Mitt Romney's Hispanic Outreach
The Colbert ReportS8

Republicans need to produce more angry white guys if they are going to stay in business, and Mitt Romney encourages self-deportation.
09/20/2012
03:23

Vladimir Putin's Crane Flight
The Colbert ReportS8

Vladimir Putin's realistic crane costume will remind Russian citizens that any animal could secretly be Putin in disguise.
09/20/2012
03:31

Mitt Romney's Hispanic Outreach - Esteban Colberto
The Colbert ReportS8

Social conservative Esteban Colberto feels empowered knowing that he can throw himself out of America by his own bootstraps.
09/20/2012
03:30

Alpha Dog of the Week - Cecilia Gimenez
The Colbert ReportS8

Amateur restoration artist Cecilia Gimenez turns a naturalistic portrait of the Son of God into a dough-faced homunculus.
09/20/2012
04:06

Sport Report - NFL Referee Lockout - Replacement Refs & Ratings
The Colbert ReportS8

NFL fans criticize stand-in referees, but the greatest worst calls in football history are actually good for business.
09/25/2012
00:10

Sign Off - "America Again"
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen reads his book, "America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't."
09/25/2012
00:41

Intro - 9/25/12
The Colbert ReportS8

The polls disfavor Mitt Romney, the NFL combats outrage, and Claressa Shields is the first female boxer to nab Olympic gold.
09/25/2012
02:38

Mitt Romney's Airplane Window Gaffe
The Colbert ReportS8

Just as Kennedy challenged America to put a man on the moon, Mitt Romney challenges manufacturers to put power windows on planes.
09/25/2012
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