The Colbert Report

Stephen Shakes His Moneymaker

Season 5 • 11/19/2009

The Senate health care bill punishes a persecuted minority: people who've had plastic surgery.

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00:33

Intro - 11/17/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Congress cracks down on child labor, Stephen profiles California's 12th district, and Malcolm Gladwell talks about his new book.
11/17/2009
05:45

Malcolm Gladwell
The Colbert ReportS5

Malcolm Gladwell tries to get people to see connections between their own worlds and worlds outside of theirs.
11/17/2009
04:30

The Word - Grand Old Pity Party
The Colbert ReportS5

Fact checking and opposition research are the same thing to Sarah Palin because she knows the facts are out to get her.
11/18/2009
02:09

Eggo Waffles Shortage Alert
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen puts America on Waff-Con Four and calls on President Obama to open the strategic waffle reserves.
11/18/2009
04:37

ThreatDown - Quetzalcoatl, Santa Claus & Canadian Groin Kickers
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen refuses to apologize to Quetzalcoatl, Santa Claus could make you sick, and a Canadian woman kicks strangers in the balls.
11/18/2009
03:29

Norah Jones
The Colbert ReportS5

Norah Jones doesn't like her fans enough to get caught snorting coke in her underwear.
11/18/2009
00:35

Intro - 11/18/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Sarah Palin has a 400-page book, "2012" takes the world by storm, and Norah Jones talks about her famous father, Indiana.
11/18/2009
00:17

Sign Off - Thanks, Elvis Costello
The Colbert ReportS5

Elvis Costello will come back and do a song with Stephen when he gets his voice back.
11/19/2009
05:33

Tip/Wag - U.S. Speedskating Team, NY Lottery & William Phillips
The Colbert ReportS5

The U.S. Speedskating team wins at the World Cup, the New York Lottery goes upscale, and a fifth grader refuses to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
11/19/2009
05:26

Celebrating the AK-47 - John Pike
The Colbert ReportS5

John Pike talks about the popularity of the AK-47 as the Russian designer celebrates his 90th birthday.
11/19/2009
02:03

Stephen Shakes His Moneymaker
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen liquidates his investments and injects them into his ass after the Senate introduces a tax on plastic surgery.
11/19/2009
00:36

Intro - 11/30/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Copenhagen hosts an environmental summit, Stephen talks to an advocate for nuclear disarmament, and Cevin Soling says schools have turned into prisons.
11/30/2009
00:33

Amateur Hour at the White House
The Colbert ReportS5

Joe Biden crashes President Obama's state dinner to get on "The Real Housewives of Delaware."
11/30/2009
05:39

Cevin Soling
The Colbert ReportS5

Cevin Soling says public schools have been transformed into prisons because of an overdependence on security.
11/30/2009
06:39

Something Is Melting in Denmark - Dan Esty
The Colbert ReportS5

Dan Esty believes President Obama will bring a change in spirit to the United Nations Climate Change Conference.
11/30/2009
06:27

Better Know a Lobby - Ploughshares Fund
The Colbert ReportS5

Joseph Cirincione plays "Sanction, Bomb, Marry?" with Iran, Pakistan and North Korea.
11/30/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for the show, everybody.
11/30/2009
06:00

Gold, Frankincense and Mars - Guy Consolmagno
The Colbert ReportS5

Brother Guy Consolmagno explains why the Vatican accepts the possibility of alien life.
12/01/2009
06:09

Sherman Alexie
The Colbert ReportS5

Sherman Alexie criticizes digital technology for taking away the local celebration and appreciation of books.
12/01/2009
04:22

Better Know a Made-Up District - Connecticut's 42nd
The Colbert ReportS5

Connecticut's 42nd District is located in the middle of the River Styx and is represented by Brad Pitt's character from "Fight Club."
12/01/2009
00:04

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
12/01/2009
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