The Colbert Report

Tip/Wag - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Season 3 • 07/18/2007

If immigrants want to learn English, they need to watch American television.

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03:44

The Word - McConaughey
The Colbert ReportS3

The untamable Matthew McConaughey doesn't have responsibilities or even a shirt.
07/18/2007
01:07

Intro - 7/18/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen broadcasted his show for 24 hours straight in solidarity with Republicans during their forced overnight debate in the Senate.
07/18/2007
00:33

Intro - 6/18/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen talks about Matthew McConaughey being named People Magazine's "Hottest Bachelor," discusses how 68% of Republicans don't believe in evolution and interviews country music star Toby Keith.
07/18/2007
02:03

The Price is Right
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests that Bob Barker become the president of the World Bank.
07/18/2007
04:35

Toby Keith
The Colbert ReportS3

The outspoken country music artist speaks with Stephen about the Colbert Bump on iTunes and the mutual benefits of being friends with each other.
07/18/2007
01:13

Papal Encounter
The Colbert ReportS3

USA Today printed a picture that looks like the pope is about to make out with a hot pilgrim lady.
07/18/2007
04:06

The Word - Smiley Face
The Colbert ReportS3

How could kittens fall asleep in a world where Iraq was not on its way toward becoming a democracy?
07/18/2007
02:23

2007 Filibustacular
The Colbert ReportS3

Although Stephen broadcasted The Report for 24-hours straight, Comedy Central cut him off at midnight.
07/18/2007
05:52

John Mellencamp
The Colbert ReportS3

John Mellencamp may be for peace, but he is no pacifist.
07/18/2007
01:44

Alpha Dog of the Week - David Beckham
The Colbert ReportS3

It takes alpha-sized man-crumpets to drum up coverage and cash, and then not do the one thing that is theoretically interesting about you.
07/18/2007
02:29

Tip/Wag - Arnold Schwarzenegger
The Colbert ReportS3

American television will teach immigrants all the necessary phrases like, "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?" and "Dy-no-mite!"
07/18/2007
01:19

Pope Goes Green
The Colbert ReportS3

The Pope must provide us with consistent, infallible declarations on how to live our daily lives.
07/18/2007
01:42

Stephen on iTunes
The Colbert ReportS3

Check out music reviews on the iTunes Store from the actual Stephen Colbert.
07/18/2007
00:15

Sign Off - Length of the Show Contest
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen congratulates the winner of his "Guess the Length of the Show" contest, who won with a guess of 30 minutes.
07/19/2007
03:28

March to Enslavement - Stephen Gets an iPhone
The Colbert ReportS3

After months of begging -- with dignity -- Stephen finally gets a free iPhone.
07/19/2007
07:09

Michael Moore
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen isn't comfortable sitting that close to Michael Moore.
07/19/2007
04:27

Frank Sulloway
The Colbert ReportS3

Frank Sulloway's research indicates that elder siblings have a greater chance of being the smarter sibling. As the youngest of 11, Stephen takes issue with that.
07/19/2007
03:17

Republican Candidates' Suffering
The Colbert ReportS3

John McCain's "Straight Talk Express" hit a few bumps in the road, most of which turned out to be former passengers.
07/19/2007
00:32

Intro - 7/19/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Michael Moore criticizes health care, Stephen launches a new segment about emerging technologies, and guest Frank Sulloway wants attention from his parents.
07/19/2007
00:15

Sign Off - Just About Out of Time
The Colbert ReportS3

The Report is just about out of time. Or, to be exact, it was just about out of time a moment ago.
07/23/2007
00:13

Intro - 7/23/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is too busy reading the newly-released final Harry Potter book to introduce the show.
07/23/2007
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