The Colbert Report

Times Square Mascots Ban

Season 9 • 04/11/2013

NYC Councilman Peter Vallone brings down the hammer on groping, anti-Semitic plush characters.

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04:16

Anthony Weiner's Comeback
The Colbert ReportS9

After withdrawing from public life to spend more time with his penis, ex-congressman Anthony Weiner is ready to stick it back in.
04/10/2013
03:14

Navy Laser Technology
The Colbert ReportS9

America now has a laser canon that can do anything from scorch a fast-attack boat to dazzle the enemy with a nonlethal burst.
04/10/2013
06:47

Shane Smith
The Colbert ReportS9

VICE co-founder Shane Smith discusses his journalism adventures in Taliban-controlled areas, North Korea and labor camps.
04/10/2013
00:07

Sign Off - Laser Tag
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen blasts America's enemies with dollar lasers.
04/10/2013
06:28

Tip/Wag - Gun Edition - United Nations, Senate Republicans & Video Games
The Colbert ReportS9

The NRA lobbies against a U.S.-backed gun treaty, Senate Republicans fail to filibuster background checks, and Democrat Joe Manchin blames video games for gun violence.
04/10/2013
03:19

NASA Lasso
The Colbert ReportS9

Rope is the most advanced technology NASA can afford to fight Earth's space enemies.
04/11/2013
04:38

America's Pot-astrophe - Nick Gillespie
The Colbert ReportS9

Reason.com's editor-in-chief discusses the war on drugs, "Reefer Madness" and drug sentencing reform.
04/11/2013
05:20

Cass Sunstein
The Colbert ReportS9

Obama's former Regulatory Affairs Administrator describes government health and safety nudges, like the USDA's "MyPlate."
04/11/2013
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen flings a WristStrong band.
04/11/2013
04:27

America's Pot-astrophe
The Colbert ReportS9

Stoners will soon demand the civil right to marry their Mary Jane, and Republicans surrender their values for the youth vote.
04/11/2013
03:03

Times Square Mascots Ban
The Colbert ReportS9

A Cookie Monster mascot shoves a toddler to the ground in New York City, so big government butts in with fun-stomping regulations.
04/11/2013
00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
04/16/2013
07:40

Tip/Wag - Brood II Cicadas, Sexcereal & GOP Internet Memes
The Colbert ReportS9

Scientists predict a plague, Canada makes the world's most passionate cereal, and the NRCC redesigns its website.
04/16/2013
02:07

Intro - 4/16/13
The Colbert ReportS9

What the Boston Marathon terrorists really don't get is that they attacked an unshakable group of people who run 26 miles until their nipples are raw on their day off.
04/16/2013
04:48

Rollie Eggmaster
The Colbert ReportS9

One product provides an answer to the question, "How can I make my breakfast fit more snugly into my colon?"
04/16/2013
05:55

Caroline Kennedy
The Colbert ReportS9

"Poems to Learn by Heart" author Caroline Kennedy encourages people to steal her book with their minds.
04/16/2013
01:53

Ricin Letters & Boston Bombing Suspects
The Colbert ReportS9

Someone tries to poison Obama, and a major breakthrough occurs in the reporting of all the things people don't know yet about the Boston bombings.
04/17/2013
04:14

Bitcoin Plunge - Adam Davidson
The Colbert ReportS9

The host of NPR's "Planet Money" describes what shady people do with bitcoins.
04/17/2013
05:56

Alan Cumming
The Colbert ReportS9

Alan Cumming discusses Broadway's production of "Macbeth," set in a psychiatric unit.
04/17/2013
00:07

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen hides behind a cowboy hat.
04/17/2013
05:42

"Accidental Racist" Song
The Colbert ReportS9

Brad Paisley is so committed to kick starting a dialogue between blacks and whites that he starts one mid-song with LL Cool J.
04/17/2013
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