The Colbert Report

Bush's Missing Watch

Season 3 • 06/12/2007

Rumors are swirling that an adoring Albanian stole President Bush's watch.

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06:08

Commencement Speeches
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen spoke at Knox College commencement last year and was given an honorary doctorate. He swore that if Bill Clinton spoke there this year, he'd burn the degree on the air.
06/11/2007
02:50

The Word - Easy A
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen doesn't expect to get any awards for saying it, but he agrees with President Bush that no child should be left behind.
06/11/2007
00:29

Intro - 6/11/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen gives America's education system an "A," President Bush is greeted as a liberator in Albania, and guest Michael Gershon believes there's a brain in the gut.
06/11/2007
03:05

Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Down This Wall
The Colbert ReportS3

On the date of the 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, Stephen prepares a historical reenactment with the help of a karate champion.
06/12/2007
00:49

Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Me Off a Piece of This Cake
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen once again calls upon karate champion Igor Dyachenko to tear something -- this time a piece of cake.
06/12/2007
04:29

Tommy Chong, Commentator
The Colbert ReportS3

In the swirling media coverage surrounding Paris Hilton's latest arrest, one man's thoughts stayed high above the fray on cable news -- Tommy Chong's.
06/12/2007
05:41

Josh Wolf
The Colbert ReportS3

Blogger Josh Wolf served prison time for withholding videotapes of an anarchist protest from authorities, so Stephen is sending a copy of their interview straight to the Feds.
06/12/2007
00:48

Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Down This Watermelon
The Colbert ReportS3

Once wasn't enough -- Stephen pays additional tribute to the 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, with the help of karate champion Igor Dyachenko.
06/12/2007
00:35

Intro - 6/12/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, a segment for the elite viewer, and a substitute guest for prolific spammer Cornelius Q. Vestibule.
06/12/2007
03:18

Colbert Platinum - Butler Shortage
The Colbert ReportS3

In a new segment aimed exclusively at his top-tier viewers, Stephen explores a troubling worldwide butler shortage.
06/12/2007
01:04

Bush's Missing Watch
The Colbert ReportS3

Rumors are swirling that one of the Albanians in the adoring crowd that met President Bush stole his watch. Stephen doesn't believe it.
06/12/2007
04:28

The Word - Pathophysiology
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests the nation might better fight the gay agenda if it were treated like disease, much like an addiction to cigarettes.
06/13/2007
00:38

Intro - 6/13/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen covers a 5,000-year-old caveman, a new surgeon general and a presidential candidate who will talk to him -- Ron Paul.
06/13/2007
05:18

Ron Paul
The Colbert ReportS3

Ron Paul is a constitutionalist and claims Stephen is confused because he hasn't seen one in a while.
06/13/2007
01:06

Ruined Anniversary
The Colbert ReportS3

Alan Colmes -- unless that Florida teenager's hiccups brought down the Iron Curtain -- you stay on message!
06/13/2007
00:12

Sign Off - Crispy Deliciousness
The Colbert ReportS3

For those of you with TiVo, Stephen included a special coded message in one of the commercials; go back and find it!
06/13/2007
02:44

Freezing Cold Case Files: Otzi
The Colbert ReportS3

Otzi the Iceman -- Stephen will find your killer and if he's also frozen he will thaw him out and fry his ass.
06/13/2007
04:57

ThreatDown - Robots
The Colbert ReportS3

Bear-bots are going to turn on us, and our only hope is that the Japanese toddler-bots will grow up in time to fight them.
06/13/2007
06:43

Anne-Marie Slaughter
The Colbert ReportS3

Anne-Marie Slaughter is the author of "The Idea That Is America" -- Chapter One: Stephen Colbert.
06/19/2007
02:02

Secret Clapton Concert
The Colbert ReportS3

A secret Eric Clapton concert in the works? Not anymore, New York Times!
06/19/2007
00:30

Intro - 6/19/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen sits down with author Anne-Marie Slaughter and asks whether there should be a national eagle day.
06/19/2007
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