The Colbert Report

Nailed 'Em - Amtrak Photographer

Season 5 • 02/02/2009

Amtrak's photography contest is their cleverest ruse since their so-called timetable.

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00:37

Intro - 1/29/09
The Colbert ReportS5

All 177 House Republicans say no to Obama's stimulus package. Shh! Don't tell them they don't control the House anymore.
01/29/2009
07:07

Sport Report - Chicken Wing Spokesman Richard Lobb
The Colbert ReportS5

Richard Lobb has advice for the man who has to choose between frying chicken wings and educating his kids.
01/29/2009
05:37

John Podesta
The Colbert ReportS5

John Podesta believes that in the last nine days Barack Obama has shown he can make progress.
01/29/2009
01:21

Rod Blagojevich Is Impeached
The Colbert ReportS5

Rod Blagojevich is impeached even after appearing on all the talk shows.
01/29/2009
05:24

The Word - The Audacity of Nope
The Colbert ReportS5

If Republicans can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, they'd rather have no economy at all.
01/29/2009
00:14

So Long, Farewell
The Colbert ReportS5

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.
02/02/2009
04:02

The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen will now have to discriminate under the table, which will be difficult, since that's where he usually does his harassing.
02/02/2009
03:05

It Could Be Worse - Iceland
The Colbert ReportS5

Iceland is a frigid rock in the middle of nowhere that has gone bankrupt and gone gay.
02/02/2009
00:35

Intro - 2/2/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The government collapses in Iceland, or as it will soon be known thanks to global warming, Landland.
02/02/2009
05:35

Dan Zaccagnino
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is angry with Dan Zaccagnino for allowing Indaba Music users to remix his interview.
02/02/2009
05:39

Nailed 'Em - Amtrak Photographer
The Colbert ReportS5

Amtrak police arrest a man because he's taking pictures for their photography contest.
02/02/2009
07:07

Henry Louis Gates, Jr.
The Colbert ReportS5

Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.
02/03/2009
00:14

All the Show We Have Time For
The Colbert ReportS5

Fortunately, it's also all the time we have show for.
02/03/2009
04:13

Colbert Platinum - Ass-Covering Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

If you really want to convince people you're dead, you need to actually die.
02/03/2009
02:35

Tom Daschle Steps Down
The Colbert ReportS5

If this were the Bush administration, Tom Daschle would have never stepped down -- not without a medal of freedom.
02/03/2009
05:29

The Word - Army of One
The Colbert ReportS5

If Republicans do what Rush Limbaugh says, they'll get the only vote that matters: his.
02/03/2009
00:33

Intro - 2/3/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Republicans choose a new leader. Don't worry -- they're the same old ideas.
02/03/2009
04:39

Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - The Newberry Awards
The Colbert ReportS5

Al Gore has already won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Nobel Prize and the 2000 presidential election -- he doesn't need a Grammy.
02/04/2009
00:32

Intro - 2/4/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Pope Benedict reinstates a Holocaust-denying bishop. Frankly, Stephen is skeptical of the evidence that he actually reinstated him.
02/04/2009
00:09

Tell Your Friends
The Colbert ReportS5

If you didn't like what you saw, Stephen will tell your enemies.
02/04/2009
03:01

Stephen Verbally Thrashes Steve Martin
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen explodes after Steve Martin walks through his eyeline.
02/04/2009
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