The Colbert Report

Invasion of the Country Snatchers

Season 3 • 01/10/2007

How are babies going to learn to be born here legally if we keep coddling them with prize money?

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06:18

Jim Cramer
The Colbert ReportS3

Jim Cramer tells Stephen how to get the most out of watching his show.
01/09/2007
01:11

Ohio State Loses
The Colbert ReportS3

The Florida Gators don't care what kind of message they're sending to America's enemies.
01/09/2007
03:51

The Word - Texas Hold 'Em
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen has advice for the president: send everyone to Iraq. Americans need to sacrifice more.
01/09/2007
04:54

We the Mediator - Celebrity Feuds
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen picks sides in celebrity fights between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump, Madonna and Angelina Jolie, and Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan.
01/09/2007
05:57

David Kamp
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen and David Kamp discuss the fancy-pantsification of American food.
01/10/2007
01:49

President's Speech
The Colbert ReportS3

Watching President Bush address the nation is like hanging out with your best bud.
01/10/2007
03:56

The Word - Worry
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wants to delicately remove Missouri and replace it with a stronger heartland: Texas.
01/10/2007
00:30

Intro - 1/10/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The red states may be turning blue, Tek Jansen has a new adventure, and America's taste in food is getting fancier.
01/10/2007
00:17

Sign Off - Thawing Meat
The Colbert ReportS3

Never thaw meat, poultry and fish products on the counter or in the sink without cold water.
01/10/2007
05:23

Tek Jansen - Hounds of Hell: Ragtime Billy Peaches
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, Tek Jansen is mysteriously teleported to the combatosphere orbiting over Asteroid Z.
01/10/2007
02:06

Invasion of the Country Snatchers
The Colbert ReportS3

Winning baby contests is what illegal immigrants are leaving their families and risking their lives to come here for.
01/10/2007
03:28

What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Doubled Up
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen reminds his viewers that just because the numbers on the board are between one and five hundred, that doesn't mean the number he's thinking of is.
01/11/2007
04:02

Tip/Wag - Science and Technology
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is outraged by the iPhone unless he gets one for free.
01/11/2007
06:48

Judy Woodruff
The Colbert ReportS3

Judy Woodruff talks about her new PBS documentary on Generation Next and grills Stephen on his tattoos.
01/11/2007
05:43

Ken Roth
The Colbert ReportS3

On the fifth anniversary of Guantanamo Bay, Human Rights Watch executive director Ken Roth joins Stephen.
01/11/2007
00:28

Intro - 1/11/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen sends a monogrammed waterboard to Guantanamo for its fifth anniversary.
01/11/2007
03:29

The Word - Victory!
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests we redefine our goals to what is actually happening. Then victory will be ours.
01/15/2007
00:32

Intro - 1/15/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discusses plastic surgery with author Alex Kuczynski and debuts his new financial segment.
01/15/2007
04:45

Alex Kuczynski
The Colbert ReportS3

Alex Kuczynski explains why we don't look better after spending $15 billion on plastic surgery.
01/15/2007
02:40

A Man's Touch
The Colbert ReportS3

It's insensitive to remind Condoleezza Rice that she's going to die without knowing a man's touch.
01/15/2007
06:04

Bears & Balls - Gas
The Colbert ReportS3

Buy gas! It's a sure-fire commodity with no risk except for the sure risk of fire.
01/15/2007
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