The Colbert Report

Ryan Seacrest's Shark Attack

Season 4 • 08/04/2008

We must discourage sharks from eating television celebrities.

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00:17

Thanks to the Guests
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen thanks his guests Brendan Koerner and Buzz Aldrin.
07/31/2008
06:13

Buzz Aldrin
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen asks Buzz Aldrin if "Fly Me to the Moon" -- his new animated film about flies on the Apollo mission -- is based on a true story.
07/31/2008
04:45

Brendan Koerner
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen wants Brendan Koerner to tell him why they make fluorescent light bulbs look like soft serve ice cream if you're not supposed to lick them.
07/31/2008
03:04

Starbucks Cuts Jobs
The Colbert ReportS4

The economic downturn is hitting Starbucks right in the Fresh Roast beans.
07/31/2008
05:15

Cheating Death - Swimming Safety
The Colbert ReportS4

Who is pooping in our pools? Stephen's guess is the elusive Poopacabra.
07/31/2008
00:31

Intro - 7/31/08
The Colbert ReportS4

How to be environmentally correct -- step one: don't tell the environment it has a nice rack.
07/31/2008
00:35

Intro - 8/4/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen examines John McCain's latest campaign commercial. Good news: it's a talkie.
08/04/2008
03:34

The Word - We the People
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen already knew he'd never vote for Obama, but he didn't realize how much he'd love to vote for Britney Spears.
08/04/2008
03:11

Democrats' Five-Week Recess
The Colbert ReportS4

The do-nothing Democrats in Congress begin a five-week recess. If they're not passing bills, what is the president supposed to veto?
08/04/2008
07:09

Lucas Conley
The Colbert ReportS4

Lucas Conley tells Stephen about America's obsession with branding in his Dr. Pepper interview.
08/04/2008
02:08

Ryan Seacrest's Shark Attack
The Colbert ReportS4

Now that the shark has had a taste of Ryan Seacrest, it's only a matter of time before they come looking for Stephen.
08/04/2008
00:39

Obsessive Compulsive Checklist
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen wants you to make sure you turned off the stove, closed the refrigerator door, and locked the doors before bed.
08/05/2008
03:18

Canton, Kansas Apology
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen hopes Canton, Kansas accepts his apology because America's real assberg is Canton, South Dakota.
08/05/2008
02:47

Obama's Energy Plan - Tire Gauges
The Colbert ReportS4

To highlight what a charade proper air pressure is, the McCain campaign hands out "Obama Energy Plan" tire gauges.
08/05/2008
06:09

David Carr
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen asks David Carr which is more damaging to society -- crack addiction or the New York Times.
08/05/2008
04:45

The Word - Divided We Win
The Colbert ReportS4

Congressional Republicans should think about making Corinthian columns a wedge issue.
08/05/2008
01:31

Starbucks Promotion
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen is selling counterfeit Starbucks receipts for any date you want.
08/05/2008
00:33

Intro - 8/5/08
The Colbert ReportS4

The solution to the fuel crisis may be just around the corner. God, Stephen hopes it's a gas station.
08/05/2008
05:48

Spida of Love - Jason Bond
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen asks Jason Bond if his spider would win in a fight with Neil Young's spider.
08/06/2008
00:11

Spanish Audio
The Colbert ReportS4

If you were listening to the Spanish audio of tonight's broadcast, Stephen wants to see your green card.
08/06/2008
03:50

Colbert Platinum - The Dribble-Down Effect
The Colbert ReportS4

The ultra rich consume more than they could possibly swallow, and the remainder dribbles down into their beards.
08/06/2008
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