The Colbert Report

Memorized Script

Season 4 • 06/11/2008

Stephen has finally recited the whole script he memorized.

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03:48

The Elitist Menace Among Us
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen could never picture Senator Obama at an Applebee's salad bar, and not just because Applebee's doesn't have a salad bar.
06/10/2008
05:38

Smokin' Pole - Canada's Hockey Theme
The Colbert ReportS4

The theme to hockey night in Canada makes everything more exciting, especially American things.
06/10/2008
00:56

New Giant iPhone
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen thought it was a status symbol to pull out an iPhone from your pocket, but that's nothing compared to pulling one out of your U-Haul.
06/10/2008
06:36

Alan Rabinowitz
The Colbert ReportS4

Zoologist Alan Rabinowitz almost makes Stephen cry with the story of how he was inspired to save big cats.
06/10/2008
00:32

Intro - 6/10/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen questions if Barack Obama is an elitist, takes a look at the top ten beaches of the Arctic, and discusses endangered cats with Alan Rabinowitz.
06/10/2008
05:46

David Hajdu
The Colbert ReportS4

David Hajdu talks about a time in America when comics were about crime and vice, like Grand Theft Auto.
06/11/2008
03:59

The Word - U.S. Airweighs
The Colbert ReportS4

It's embarrassing enough when your doctor tells you to get on the scale. Now replace your doctor with a ticket agent.
06/11/2008
04:36

Un-American News - U.S. Election Edition
The Colbert ReportS4

Barack Obama is being praised by every country with access to word processing technology. Sorry, Estonia, maybe next year.
06/11/2008
04:20

Israel's New Bird
The Colbert ReportS4

Congratulations, Israel. Just as America soars like the might eagle, may you emulate the noble long-billed hoopoe by squirting fecal matter at intruders.
06/11/2008
00:30

Intro - 6/11/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Airlines suffer from high fuel prices and other countries are dying to find out who is going to ignore them next.
06/11/2008
00:29

Memorized Script
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen finally recites the entire script, now he's got to start memorizing the next 408 episodes.
06/11/2008
05:25

Dickson Despommier
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen asks Dickson Despommier if growing food in vertical towers is an elitist way to farm.
06/12/2008
02:49

We the MEdiator
The Colbert ReportS4

Clint Eastwood is not Spike Lee's father and they are not on a plantation, although that'd make a hilarious antebellum buddy comedy.
06/12/2008
04:21

Stephen Colbert's Make McCain Exciting Challenge!
The Colbert ReportS4

You the heroes have stepped up to answer John McCain's call to spice up his speech in Stephen Colbert's Make McCain Exciting Challenge.
06/12/2008
00:28

Intro - 6/12/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Are Native Americans' needs being met this election? If not, would they settle for some lovely beads?
06/12/2008
06:57

Winona LaDuke
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen asks former Green Party vice presidential candidate and Native American activist Winona LaDuke what it's like to be an oppressed elitist.
06/12/2008
00:30

Intro - 6/16/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen questions whether the U.S. should boycott the Olympics, introduces enemies at home, and discusses intelligent design with Kenneth Miller.
06/16/2008
03:40

The Word - Ploy-cott
The Colbert ReportS4

Let the other countries boycott the Beijing Olympics, but America has to go.
06/16/2008
04:11

The Enemy Within - Wizard Teachers
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen interviews a substitute teacher in Florida who was fired for wizardry.
06/16/2008
06:32

Kenneth Miller
The Colbert ReportS4

Kenneth Miller compares advocates of intelligent design to welfare queens waiting for the government to give them a handout.
06/16/2008
01:46

Tim Russert Tribute
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen pays homage to Tim Russert by showing his interview on "Meet the Press."
06/16/2008
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