The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Dead Presidents

Season 8 • 06/07/2004

Jon Stewart speculates that Jennifer Lopez may have killed Ronald Reagan.

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00:15

Moment of Zen - Flustered Tenet
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

CIA Director George Tenet looks flustered when questioned about North Korea.
06/03/2004
05:16

The Braidy Bill
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Illegal braiding is like a drunk driver, in that there's nothing wrong with driving drunk until you hit somebody and kill them.
06/03/2004
02:33

Tenet Resigns
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

If you go to the CIA cafeteria you can get a grilled cheese sandwich and the launch codes for intercontinental ballistic missiles.
06/03/2004
02:19

Goodbye Mr. Tenet
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

When news breaks, the Daily Show isn't the first on the scene, but they have televisions, they know what's going on.
06/03/2004
01:18

Jon Magazine
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

This month's issue of Jon Magazine is full of so many perfume inserts, people may ask if you are a Turkish prostitute.
06/07/2004
00:11

Moment of Zen - Don't Think About Boobies
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

President George W. Bush tries to look interested while listening to Pope John Paul II.
06/07/2004
06:03

Donna Brazile
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Donna Brazile felt that busing and school integration was a bad idea, because she couldn't run home if she got sick.
06/07/2004
04:03

Tape Worms
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The Enron executives are greedy mother arbitragers.
06/07/2004
03:22

Pump'd
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries will bolster their output of crude oil to 2 million barrels a day, enough to power a Hummer from St. Louis to Springfield.
06/07/2004
02:48

Holy Sit
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The Pope is usually a dick when he meets someone, but was cordial to George W. Bush.
06/07/2004
01:39

Dead Presidents
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon Stewart's advice to former presidents Ford and Carter is to die saving a baby.
06/07/2004
00:23

Moment of Zen - No Disrespect
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Bill Parcells does not mean to disrespect the "orientals."
06/08/2004
02:51

Indecision 2004 - Thumbs Up To You Too
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

While President George W. Bush gives a eulogy for Ronald Reagan, John Kerry is going to catch up on some office work.
06/08/2004
02:24

Mess O'Potamia - Congratulations on Your New Government
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

New Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi will find that there's no better way to get acquainted with a country than by running it.
06/08/2004
07:06

David Brooks
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

David Brooks states that only a country as idealistic as the United States would try to bring democracy to Iraq -- and only a country as naive as us would do it so badly.
06/08/2004
01:33

What Would Ronald Think?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Newt Gingrich believes that Ronald Reagan would approve of President George W. Bush's actions in Iraq.
06/08/2004
04:28

New Jersey Primary
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

All the Kucinich organization needs to do to win the New Jersey primary is to convince fellow Democrats to change their numerical system.
06/08/2004
00:16

Moment of Zen - Joe Biden's Lecture
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Joe Biden angrily lectures John Ashcroft about the importance of following torture treaties.
06/09/2004
02:31

8 Simple Rulers
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The G8 summit is held on an isolated island off the coast of Georgia, so it won't be plagued by protests.
06/09/2004
06:26

Morgan Spurlock
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Morgan Spurlock describes his chest pains and heart palpitations from eating McDonald's everyday.
06/09/2004
02:39

G8 Summit
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Stephen Colbert explains that they're considering holding next year's G8 summit somewhere safer and more remote, like the Fortress of Solitude.
06/09/2004
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