The Colbert Report

The Mega Millions Lottery

Season 8 • 03/29/2012

Stephen learns helpful lottery-winning tips from "Good Morning America."

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02:47

The Conservative Teen
The Colbert ReportS8

Finally there's a publication for kids who are sick of doing their own thing and just want to conform to conservative ideals.
03/28/2012
05:33

The Supreme Court Weighs In on Obamacare - Emily Bazelon
The Colbert ReportS8

Luckily, Emily Bazelon wasn't arguing for Obamacare's individual mandate in the Supreme Court, because she might have won.
03/28/2012
04:40

The Supreme Court Weighs In on Obamacare
The Colbert ReportS8

The solicitor general's defense of Obamacare was a train wreck that slammed into the Hindenberg, landed on the deck of the Titanic, and then sailed in to see "John Carter."
03/28/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight Snack
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen says goodnight and pours himself a bowl of cereal.
03/28/2012
07:19

Mark Ruffalo
The Colbert ReportS8

Actor Mark Ruffalo became an anti-fracking, clean water activist after seeing the technologies' detrimental impact on communities in Pennsylvania.
03/28/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen says goodnight brandishing the Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack.
03/29/2012
00:34

Intro - 3/29/12
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen approves of college students being political players, Mitt Romney proves he's just like average Americans, and Peter Beinart has a book about the future of Israel.
03/29/2012
07:03

Colbert Super PAC - Texan Supporters & Super Fun Pack
The Colbert ReportS8

Texans contribute more to Colbert Super PAC than to Romney's super PAC, and Stephen wants every college across this great nation to have its own Colbert Super PAC.
03/29/2012
05:37

Peter Beinart
The Colbert ReportS8

Peter Beinart discusses his book "The Crisis of Zionism" and what he sees as a divide between the democratic Israel and the Israel of the West Bank.
03/29/2012
03:08

Mitt Romney Tells a Funny Story
The Colbert ReportS8

Mitt Romney tries to connect with blue collar voters by telling a funny story about his father laying off blue collar workers.
03/29/2012
04:18

The Mega Millions Lottery
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen Stephen tries to win the Mega Millions Lottery with his lucky numbers: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.
03/29/2012
05:33

Yahweh or No Way - Christian Card Counters, Pope Benedict on Marxism & Pope Cologne
The Colbert ReportS8

"Holy Rollers" shows the sacred side of Sin City, Pope Benedict XVI believes Marxism no longer corresponds to reality, and a perfumer honors the pope with a signature cologne.
04/02/2012
00:34

Intro - 4/2/12
The Colbert ReportS8

There's trouble in the beef industry, Pope Benedict XVI pays a visit to Cuba, and Governor Gary Johnson runs as the 2012 Libertarian candidate for president.
04/02/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen digs into a Hamlet Rove from the Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack.
04/02/2012
05:33

Gary Johnson
The Colbert ReportS8

Libertarian presidential candidate Governor Gary Johnson believes in fiscal conservatism and social tolerance.
04/02/2012
03:56

Colbert Super PAC - Super Fun Pack Treasure Hunt
The Colbert ReportS8

Whoever wins the Super Fun Pack Treasure Hunt will receive a university visit from the actual Stephen Colbert, not the Venezuelan knockoff.
04/02/2012
04:54

The Beefstate Governors
The Colbert ReportS8

Governors from beef industry states want to end the smear campaign against lean, finely textured beef, and make the term "pink slime" a thing of the past.
04/02/2012
01:51

Colbert Super PAC - Super Fun Pack Not-Legal Advice & Certificate of Presidenthood
The Colbert ReportS8

The Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack contains everything you need to be a playa in the 2012 election, including a big red button and an honor from Ham Rove.
04/03/2012
03:58

Rick Santorum Speaks From His Heart - California Colleges
The Colbert ReportS8

Rick Santorum criticizes California universities after reading something from the state of California.
04/03/2012
03:11

Colbert Super PAC SHH! - 501c4 Disclosure
The Colbert ReportS8

Critics question the secrecy and tax status of unregistered money guns shooting up the election, like Ham Rove's Colbert Super PAC SHH! and Karl Rove's Crossroads GPS.
04/03/2012
00:06

Sign Off - Helmeted Ham Rove
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen says goodnight with Ham Rove sporting a gift from Clemson University.
04/03/2012
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