The Colbert Report

Don't Mess With Jesus

Season 2 • 06/21/2006

Stephen explains the Monkey Authorship Index.

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03:44

Stephen Makes it Simple - Government
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen navigates the question of big government versus small government with some help from Lassie and Godzilla.
06/20/2006
01:16

American Goal
The Colbert ReportS2

The US soccer team tied the Italians 1-1. That's as good as a win!
06/20/2006
00:12

Sign Off - I'll call you
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's going to call. No, seriously.
06/20/2006
03:36

The Word - Everything Must Go
The Colbert ReportS2

In order to save Mother Earth, we must extract and burn all the fuel she has.
06/20/2006
01:16

Truthiness Cheer
The Colbert ReportS2

America's cheerleading teens are cheering about truthiness.
06/21/2006
05:20

Bay Buchanan
The Colbert ReportS2

Bay Buchanan is dedicated to building a fence along the 2,000 mile border between the U.S. and Mexico.
06/21/2006
03:37

Tip/Wag - Episcopal Church
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen tips his hat to the U.S. Mint and Gustav Klimt, but wags his finger at the Episcopal church, Lego and scientists.
06/21/2006
00:11

Sign Off - Insane Clown
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will be the insane clown hovering over your bed with a knife in your dreams.
06/21/2006
00:39

Intro - 6/21/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen explores the best thing about soccer, reports on a female Episcopal bishop, and talks to Bay Buchanan about his committee to get immigrants out of America.
06/21/2006
04:12

World Cup Trash Talk - Alexi Lalas
The Colbert ReportS2

Soccer star Alexi Lalas helps Stephen trash talk other teams in preparation for the World Cup.
06/21/2006
03:01

Don't Mess With Jesus
The Colbert ReportS2

The brown-haired guy who isn't Steve Doocy on "Fox and Friends" believes a monkey with a typewriter could type the Bible.
06/21/2006
00:34

Intro - 6/22/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen dismisses Stephen Hawking, interviews Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette, and determines what lessons from Hurricane Katrina we can ignore this hurricane season.
06/22/2006
00:07

Sign Off - Not Winning Prizes
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen knows he's not going to win any prizes for saying goodnight.
06/22/2006
02:58

The Word - Cut and Run
The Colbert ReportS2

If humans must leave earth because it can no longer sustain life, Stephen will not flee -- he has an appointment with Jesus Christ.
06/22/2006
01:32

Stephen's Fault
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen berated Ghana's soccer team on last night's show and they used their rage to defeat the U.S. and eliminate them from World Cup.
06/22/2006
06:17

Better Know a District - Colorado's 1st - Diana DeGette
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen tries to get Congresswoman Diana DeGette to support a bill protecting the American elephant and to include his name in the bill.
06/22/2006
06:20

Douglas Brinkley
The Colbert ReportS2

Author Douglas Brinkley addresses why the levees broke during Hurricane Katrina and what the future holds for New Orleans.
06/22/2006
01:58

Stephen Hawking Is an A-Hole
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen Hawking, the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University, is such an A-Hole.
06/22/2006
03:50

The Word - Class Warfare
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen takes issue with John Edwards' war on the lower class, coming up with a modest proposal for the poor.
06/26/2006
06:36

Mark Bowden
The Colbert ReportS2

Mark Bowden describes the similarities between the West's first encounter with extremist Muslims and the current one.
06/26/2006
00:31

Intro - 6/26/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen grinds the news into a fine white powder.
06/26/2006
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