The Colbert Report

Stone Phillips

Season 2 • 06/05/2006

Stone Phillips plays a little ditty for Katie Couric.

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03:30

Stephen Colbert's Guardian Eagles
The Colbert ReportS2

Today's prom is a minefield for our youth -- the sex, the gangsta rapping music, the drinking, the smoking of the grass and the smoking of the ecstasy pills.
05/18/2006
00:07

Fract - This Day in Stephen History
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On this day in Stephen history, Stephen won the school science fair.
05/18/2006
06:05

Ted Daeschler
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks paleontologists Ted Daeschler why he can't just leave fossils alone to ripen into oil.
05/18/2006
01:26

Bears Eat Monkey
The Colbert ReportS2

Monkeys, stick to your adorable scampering and tire-swinging and stop loitering in bear zones.
05/18/2006
00:30

Intro - 5/18/06
The Colbert ReportS2

In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to paleontologist Ted Daeschler about fossils, and the U.S. restores diplomatic relations with Libya.
05/18/2006
02:34

The Word - Libya
The Colbert ReportS2

Now we realize Qaddafi is just a loveable eccentric, kinda like Prince.
05/18/2006
00:14

Helium Balloon Drop
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen works out the logistics of dropping a helium balloon.
06/05/2006
03:18

The In-Box - 100th Episode
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen takes a dip into the in-box to see what everyone else thinks of his 100th show.
06/05/2006
03:26

The Word - Me
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen salutes Me; not just himself, but everyone who's proud to refer to themselves as Me.
06/05/2006
05:19

My First 100 Shows: How I Changed The World
The Colbert ReportS2

After just 100 episodes, The Colbert Report nearly wipes out the North American Grizzly.
06/05/2006
07:31

Stone Phillips
The Colbert ReportS2

After a montage of Stephen's greatest guests, Stone Phillips returns for a rematch of their previous gravitas-off.
06/05/2006
03:38

666
The Colbert ReportS2

The Colbert Report is the only TV studio taping in the vicinity where everyone gets a Bible.
06/06/2006
04:35

Stephen's Sound Advice - Graduation
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's advice to college graduates -- move back with your parents, pad your resume, apply for credit cards, don't backpack in Europe, streak the quad and don't graduate.
06/06/2006
06:19

Christiane Amanpour
The Colbert ReportS2

Christiane Amanpour instructs Stephen on the correct way to pronounce Iraq and Iran.
06/06/2006
03:12

The Word - Military
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen proposes a military plan that will keep marriage pure between a man and a woman, regardless of whether that man and woman want to stay married.
06/06/2006
01:26

Sign Off - 666 Almost Over
The Colbert ReportS2

The most evil day in all of human history, 6/6/06, is almost over, which means Stephen can restore evil items to his shelf.
06/06/2006
00:36

Intro - 6/6/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight's episode is full of backward Satanic messages, gay marriage, college graduates and CNN foreign correspondent Christiane Amanpour.
06/06/2006
04:52

ThreatDown - Bad Heroin
The Colbert ReportS2

Millions of deadly doses of Fentanyl-laced heroin might still be on the streets and Stephen advises his smack-addicted viewers to kick the H.
06/07/2006
00:09

Sign Off - Vaughniston
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen finally decides on a combined name for Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.
06/07/2006
01:13

Balrog
The Colbert ReportS2

CNN confuses Satan with the Balrog from Lord of the Rings.
06/07/2006
06:32

Steve Squyres
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks Steve Squyres, the principal investigator of the Mars Exploration Rover Mission, if they've found oil on Mars yet.
06/07/2006
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