The Colbert Report

Tim Pawlenty Declares Candidacy Before He's Ready

Season 7 • 04/13/2011

Tim Pawlenty declares his candidacy for president to Morgan the Organ.

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00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS7

That's it for The Report.
04/12/2011
02:48

Threat Level: Rainbow
The Colbert ReportS7

The Family Leader's Bob Vander Plaats believes same-sex marriage is just as dangerous as second-hand smoke.
04/12/2011
03:31

Mitt Happens - Rick Brookhiser
The Colbert ReportS7

Rick Brookhiser says Mitt Romney won't win the Republican nomination because he looks like the secret grandfather of Obamacare.
04/12/2011
00:35

Intro - 4/12/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Mitt Romney throws his hat in the presidential ring, and Ray Kurzweil believes man and machine are becoming one.
04/12/2011
03:43

Jon Kyl Tweets Not Intended to Be Factual Statements
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen celebrates Jon Kyl's groundbreaking excuse-planation by tweeting round-the-clock non-facts about him.
04/12/2011
05:39

Ray Kurzweil
The Colbert ReportS7

Ray Kurzweil predicts that people will merge with technology and become a billion times smarter by 2045.
04/12/2011
06:07

Morgan Spurlock
The Colbert ReportS7

Morgan Spurlock pulls the curtain back on product placement and advertising in "The Greatest Movie Ever Sold."
04/13/2011
00:06

Sign Off - Doritos Suit
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen wears a Doritos suit and enjoys Americone Dream.
04/13/2011
05:03

The Enemy Within - Unicyclists
The Colbert ReportS7

Riding unicycles used to be a shameful pastime for circus animals and secretaries of defense, but this one-wheel lifestyle is seeping into the mainstream.
04/13/2011
06:05

The Word - Buy and Cellulite
The Colbert ReportS7

Unilever creates armpit insecurity among women so it can make money selling the solution.
04/13/2011
03:00

Tim Pawlenty Declares Candidacy Before He's Ready
The Colbert ReportS7

Tim Pawlenty tries to reclaim his non-candidacy, but no one's going to want Piers Morgan's sloppy seconds.
04/13/2011
04:51

Colbert Super PAC - Trevor Potter
The Colbert ReportS7

Jay the Intern's pony is rested, watered and ready to take Stephen's super PAC forms to Washington, D.C.
04/14/2011
00:08

Sign Off - iPad
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen signs off with his iPad.
04/14/2011
03:22

Viacom Ruins Stephen's PAC Dream
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen says goodbye to his dream of starting a Colbert PAC after receiving a letter from Viacom.
04/14/2011
03:01

Easter Under Attack - Egg Edition
The Colbert ReportS7

A government-sponsored egg hunt in Ohio takes out the word "Easter," and the White House offers environmentally friendly eggs.
04/14/2011
06:47

Caroline Kennedy
The Colbert ReportS7

Caroline Kennedy and Stephen read poetry by W.H. Auden and Edna St. Vincent Millay.
04/14/2011
02:23

Obama Needs Charts and Graphs
The Colbert ReportS7

Barack Obama needs to use graphs and charts in his speeches if he wants to keep people's attention.
04/14/2011
05:11

Obama's Tax Return & Road to the Trump House
The Colbert ReportS7

President Obama makes his tax return public, and Donald Trump's special relationship with "the blacks" goes back decades.
04/25/2011
05:19

Ron Paul
The Colbert ReportS7

Ron Paul defines liberty, criticizes the Federal Reserve and doesn't believe in the income tax.
04/25/2011
06:26

Cheating Death - Vaxa International, Lap-Band Surgery & Restless Leg Syndrome
The Colbert ReportS7

Prescott ends its proud Vaxa line, the FDA approves Lap-Band surgery for the cheerfully obese, and masturbation calms restless leg syndrome.
04/25/2011
00:07

Sign Off - Vacsa-Not-Masturbating
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen alleviates the symptoms of restless leg syndrome with Vacsa-Not-Masturbating.
04/25/2011
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