The Colbert Report

Governor Alert - The Search for Mark Sanford

Season 5 • 06/23/2009

In Mark Sanford's absence, Stephen declares himself the new governor of South Carolina.

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00:24

Intro - 6/22/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen suggests punching randomly until we find the enemy among us, and Simon Schama writes a history of the future of America.
06/22/2009
02:03

The Smell of Freedom - Jeff Goldblum
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Goldblum stands up for Zicam because nobody can take away the sweet smell of freedom.
06/22/2009
06:45

Simon Schama
The Colbert ReportS5

Simon Schama admits that out of all the countries' histories he's covered, the United States has the greatest.
06/22/2009
04:39

The Enemy Within - Cane Fu
The Colbert ReportS5

Like a danger pig rooting out fear truffles, Stephen profiles Mark Shuey, creator of the Cane Fu combat system turning America's seniors into killing machines.
06/22/2009
05:08

Zicam Recall
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen doesn't understand why the FDA would crack down on an unregulated heavy metal that you spray in your nose and can cause permanent damage.
06/22/2009
02:14

America's Health Plan-Demic
The Colbert ReportS5

The House Republicans' health care reform plan is practical in that it's practically three pages long and has no numbers.
06/23/2009
03:07

Barack Obama's Response to Iran
The Colbert ReportS5

Critics call for President Obama to get involved in the Iranian elections, boldly and loudly, with the fist of the Statue of Liberty.
06/23/2009
04:21

America's Health Plan-Demic - Howard Dean
The Colbert ReportS5

Howard Dean believes the American government can pay for a public health insurance option because it will generate more jobs.
06/23/2009
05:59

David Kilcullen
The Colbert ReportS5

David Kilcullen fights wars by taking a local approach to combat smaller guerrilla movements.
06/23/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
06/23/2009
04:16

Governor Alert - The Search for Mark Sanford
The Colbert ReportS5

As his first act as governor of South Carolina, Stephen calls off the search for Mark Sanford.
06/23/2009
00:29

Intro - 6/24/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.
06/24/2009
05:05

Sport Report - Soccer, Tennis & Brett Favre
The Colbert ReportS5

The U.S. soccer team beats Spain, Wimbledon fights match fixing, and Brett Favre wants to join the Minnesota Vikings.
06/24/2009
07:19

Matthew Crawford
The Colbert ReportS5

Matthew Crawford explores the dichotomy between "knowledge" work and manual labor.
06/24/2009
00:33

Sign Off - Random GPS Coordinate Lottery
The Colbert ReportS5

If you're at latitude 37.718 and longitude negative 102.656, you've won Stephen's random GPS coordinate lottery.
06/24/2009
05:56

Mark Sanford Does Something Interesting
The Colbert ReportS5

Mark Sanford releases the juicy details of his torrid affair at a press conference, putting Stephen to sleep.
06/24/2009
05:59

Jim Fouratt
The Colbert ReportS5

Jim Fouratt discusses the significance of the Stonewall riots for the gay rights movement and his frustration with Barack Obama.
06/25/2009
00:16

Sign Off - One Breath
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen made it through the whole show in one breath.
06/25/2009
00:33

Intro - 6/25/09
The Colbert ReportS5

ABC turns their network over to Barack Obama, and Jim Fouratt meets the leader of the gay shame movement.
06/25/2009
02:01

Gay Demon on the Loose
The Colbert ReportS5

A gay demon was perfectly harmless inside a gay teen, but now it's on the prowl looking to inhabit a new host.
06/25/2009
04:09

The Word - Stonewalling
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama will give rights to the gay community once he's done putting it off.
06/25/2009
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