The Colbert Report

Employee Performance Reviews

Season 2 • 03/21/2006

Stephen conducts his crews' performance reviews on-air.

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07:18

Connie Chung
The Colbert ReportS2

Connie Chung went back to work because her husband, Maury Povich, was sick of her being around the house all the time.
03/20/2006
00:26

Intro - 3/20/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight, Stephen raises the alert from brown to grizzly, Hollywood tries to destroy America and, hopefully, Connie Chung doesn't reveal what keeps romance with Maury alive.
03/20/2006
04:35

Movies That Are Destroying America - Post-Oscar Wrap-Up
The Colbert ReportS2

The pageantry of the Oscars is over, and all we're left with is horrible, horrible movies.
03/20/2006
02:08

The Word - Stop It
The Colbert ReportS2

The vernal equinox was last night, and now even the weariest among us feels a stirring within at the world's rebirth -- which bring us to tonight's word: stop it.
03/20/2006
04:03

War in Iraq - Third Anniversary
The Colbert ReportS2

For the war in Iraq's third anniversary, Stephen thought it would be nice to get a cake in the shape of the prophet Muhammad.
03/20/2006
03:34

World Baseball Classic
The Colbert ReportS2

Japan defeated Cuba 10-6 to win the World Baseball Classic -- we won! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
03/21/2006
00:26

Intro - 3/21/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: the early symptoms of mad cow disease, which include short term memory loss, and the early symptoms of mad cow disease, which include short term memory loss.
03/21/2006
03:12

The Word - Eat It
The Colbert ReportS2

Expensive tests for mad cow disease make corporations sick, and nothing tears Stephen up more than the thought of a sick corporation.
03/21/2006
05:52

Steve Kroft
The Colbert ReportS2

Does Morley Safer makes Steve Kroft run and get him cigarettes on the set of "60 Minutes"?
03/21/2006
02:09

The In-Box - Corrections
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen loves getting e-mail from viewers -- even corrections sound like love letters.
03/21/2006
04:39

Employee Performance Reviews
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen had scheduled employee performance reviews for after the show, but decides to go ahead and conduct them on-air.
03/21/2006
04:55

Dan Senor
The Colbert ReportS2

Former Coalition Provisional Authority spokesman Dan Senor is conservative on national security but liberal on neckties.
03/22/2006
00:09

Sign Off - Thank You, America
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wants to thank America for watching -- not the viewers at home, but the government.
03/22/2006
01:23

Advice for Jennifer Anniston
The Colbert ReportS2

Jennifer Aniston is moving from Hollywood to Chicago, and Stephen has some advice for her: head to the Wiener's Circle at Clark and Wrightwood and get a francheesy.
03/22/2006
07:09

Better Know a District - California's 27th - Brad Sherman
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's interview with Representative Brad Sherman, whose district contains a large portion of the porn industry, is interrupted by a pizza delivery guy.
03/22/2006
05:35

The Word - I Am the Great and Powerful Oz
The Colbert ReportS2

By firing teachers who claimed to have credentials they didn't earn, Miami schools are sending their students the wrong message -- don't get caught.
03/22/2006
00:34

Intro - 3/22/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: Florida teachers take a break from having sex with their students, Stephen explores California's fightin' 27th and the Iraqis are really using their newly-built hospitals.
03/22/2006
01:47

Sign Off - The Reason for the Hearth
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen knits a scarf for America by the fireside and offers a few words on the meaning of the hearth.
03/23/2006
03:58

Home, Hearth, Heart and Heartland - This Land Is Your Land
The Colbert ReportS2

American values are going right down the toilet -- and not one of those modern, low-flow, sissy toilets, either.
03/23/2006
00:28

Intro - 3/23/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: Stephen celebrates American values, teaches the White House Press Corps some manners and learns how John Kasich dares call himself Bill O'Reilly's replacement.
03/23/2006
03:38

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Raise a Hero
The Colbert ReportS2

For parents who want to raise heroes, Stephen has sound advice: men, never cry in front of your kids; women, stay home and home-school the children.
03/23/2006
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