The Colbert Report

Save Stephen Jr.

Season 3 • 02/05/2007

Stephen asks residents of Oregon to use fish to lure Stephen Jr. away from Washington.

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01:47

Cartoon Terrorism
The Colbert ReportS3

A publicity stunt for Aqua Teen Hunger Force caused a terrorism scare in Boston. What's more, it also ruined several marketing campaigns that Stephen had planned.
02/01/2007
01:36

The Most Poetic F@#king Thing I've Ever Heard
The Colbert ReportS3

Rainbow covered bridges paved with babies' dreams has nothing on moths that drink the tears of sleeping magpies. That's the most poetic f**king thing Stephen has ever heard.
02/01/2007
00:32

Intro - 2/1/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Tom Tancredo has plans to get rid of the congressional black caucus, Stephen's getting sick from the Oscars and Chuck Schumer has advice for the Democrats.
02/01/2007
03:22

Ending Racism
The Colbert ReportS3

In response to a remark by Frank Hargrove, Stephen apologizes for racism and bids farewell to it with a video montage.
02/01/2007
03:45

Movies That Are Destroying America - Oscars Edition
The Colbert ReportS3

The Oscars really made Stephen sick this year with movies like "Little Miss Sunshine," "Pan's Labyrinth" and "An Inconvenient Truth."
02/01/2007
01:53

Peyton Manseed
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is thrilled about the Bears being slaughtered in the Super Bowl and approves of Prince's kosher halftime performance.
02/05/2007
00:36

Intro - 2/5/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Despite global warming, Stephen's freezing his ass off while that bastard Tesla gains another victory, and Wendy Kopp gets schooled by America.
02/05/2007
05:43

Wendy Kopp
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen's speaks with Teach for America founder Wendy Kopp and suggests that eliminating schools entirely is the best way to achieve equal educational opportunity.
02/05/2007
04:04

The Word - Second Opinion
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is all for the second opinion. If a doctor says he's allergic to shrimp, he finds a doctor that says he's not. He feels the same about scientists and global warming.
02/05/2007
04:32

ThreatDown - Giant Mexican Babies
The Colbert ReportS3

Banning light bulbs, giant Mexicans babies crossing the border, the Miss America pageant and the misrepresentation of bear hugs are all major threats.
02/05/2007
03:08

Save Stephen Jr.
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discovers that Stephen Jr. has made it back into the U.S. but fears that Congressman Brian Baird might kill him.
02/05/2007
00:29

Intro - 2/6/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The Pentagon may be doing business with Iran, and Congressman Zack Space can be heard screaming. Plus, Stephen finds out why Charles LeDuff doesn't do Internet dating.
02/06/2007
06:00

Charles LeDuff
The Colbert ReportS3

Journalist Charlie LeDuff talks about "US Guys" and tells Stephen that the manliest men in America are in Oklahoma's gay rodeo.
02/06/2007
06:04

Better Know a District - Ohio's 18th - Zack Space
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen takes a look at Ohio's 18th and speaks with Congressman Zack Space, who has some pretty radical views -- for a Democrat.
02/06/2007
03:30

The Word - Making a Killing
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen feels that it's not wrong for the U.S. to sell F-14 fighter jet parts to Iran. They're the only country that uses the jet, so we could make a killing.
02/06/2007
03:52

Pray for Stephen
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen received a form letter informing him that he is one of the most powerful personalities in media and for this reason he has earned himself a day of being prayed for.
02/06/2007
01:19

The San Francisco Treat
The Colbert ReportS3

After performing same-sex civil ceremonies in San Francisco, Gavin Newsom had an affair, which basically means that the American family is destroyed.
02/07/2007
05:11

Tek Jansen - From the Future
The Colbert ReportS3

Teks from further and further in the future keep showing up to save kids from each other, deliver messages, and have sex (by accident).
02/07/2007
06:37

Steven Pinker
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen tells Steven Pinker that he doesn't fear evolution because he doesn't believe in it.
02/07/2007
00:36

Intro - 2/7/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks if the Democrats should respond to the Republicans' nonbinding resolution with a nonbinding resolution, and expects to have his mind read by guest Steven Pinker.
02/07/2007
03:47

California Values Watch
The Colbert ReportS3

If Loretta Sanchez's sister Linda is Nicky Hilton, Loretta is Paris.
02/07/2007
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