The Colbert Report

Intro - 11/29/05

Season 1 • 11/29/2005

Stephen wonders if the Canadian streets will murmur with disagreement after its government falls.

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00:39

Intro - 11/28/05
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen questions U.S. presence in Iraq, interviews quantum physicist Brian Greene, settles the debate between science and religion and reports on holiday shopping.
11/28/2005
03:23

Viewer Phone Calls
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen Colbert answers viewers' questions about the troops in Iraq, the Better Know a District map and the best way to clean the American flag.
11/28/2005
03:42

Cyber Monday
The Colbert ReportS1

The nation is on its honor not to steal Stephen Colbert's identity.
11/28/2005
00:13

Sign Off - Check Your Local Listings
The Colbert ReportS1

From what Stephen Colbert understands of quantum mechanics, tonight's show may not have happened.
11/28/2005
05:18

Brian Greene
The Colbert ReportS1

By saying that science has more validity than a feeling, Brian Greene is implying that Stephen Colbert descended from a monkey.
11/28/2005
02:17

The Word - Never
The Colbert ReportS1

We need to send more troops into Iraq in order to get the job done, so that we can pull the troops out, which we will never do.
11/28/2005
04:59

Better Know a District - California's 50th - Randy "Duke" Cunningham
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen blames California's 50th district for Randy "Duke" Cunningham having to resign over bribery charges.
11/29/2005
05:17

Richard Preston
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen wants Richard Preston to scare the pants off of him.
11/29/2005
03:51

The Word - Confidence
The Colbert ReportS1

We have enough confidence to let our government operate without having any confidence in it.
11/29/2005
04:54

Was It Really That Bad? - Black Death
The Colbert ReportS1

The Black Death didn't just make more dead people, it also made less competition for those few live people.
11/29/2005
00:29

Intro - 11/29/05
The Colbert ReportS1

On tap: the failed Canadian government, the bubonic plague and Richard Preston -- with any luck, he'll bring an Ebola monkey.
11/29/2005
00:48

The "Duke's" Things
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen looks at everything Randy "Duke" Cunningham must now say goodbye to.
11/29/2005
05:30

Katrina vanden Heuvel
The Colbert ReportS1

Katrina vanden Heuvel is a proud liberal who is considered mainstream on her stances in ending the war in Iraq and on national health care.
11/30/2005
02:50

The Word - Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay
The Colbert ReportS1

Pope Benedict decrees that men who have not had homosexual encounters for three years have only "transitory" homosexual tendencies and still qualify to be priests.
11/30/2005
00:08

Fract - Nobody Messes with House
The Colbert ReportS1

The actor who plays "House, M.D." is British, but he plays an American.
11/30/2005
00:38

Intro - 11/30/05
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen discusses Bush's plan for victory in Iraq, learns about America's 10 sexiest union organizers and talks to Congressperson Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick.
11/30/2005
01:09

Around the World in 11.6 Seconds - Media
The Colbert ReportS1

Stephen reports the international news in 11.6 seconds.
11/30/2005
04:50

The Word - Spectacle
The Colbert ReportS1

The threat of lethal injection is the number one reason Stephen hasn't murdered anyone yet.
12/01/2005
00:30

Intro - 12/1/05
The Colbert ReportS1

In tonight's episode, Stephen weighs the merits of your new face transplant.
12/01/2005
04:49

Richard Clarke
The Colbert ReportS1

Former counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke discusses his new book of fiction, "The Scorpion's Gate."
12/01/2005
02:15

Giant Gold Washer
The Colbert ReportS1

The Winter Olympics are Stephen's favorite time of the every four years.
12/01/2005
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