The Colbert Report

Election Eve Prayer

Season 4 • 11/03/2008

Dear Lord, please make people choose the candidate Stephen wants.

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Watching

05:29

Wilco Interview
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen's heart stops when he tries to match Jeff Tweedy's low-key energy.
10/30/2008
03:24

The DaColbert Code - The Election
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen doesn't believe in polls, so he predicts the election using The DaColbert Code.
10/30/2008
02:05

Obama Infomercial
The Colbert ReportS4

It's the premiere of a wonderful new series starring Barack Obama and a cast of plucky unknowns.
10/30/2008
00:32

Intro - 10/30/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Barack Obama gets a half hour on TV. Big deal, Stephen's done 470 of these things. Where's his presidency?
10/30/2008
04:20

Tip/Wag - Apple Computers
The Colbert ReportS4

The last thing Stephen needs on his iPhone is an application called iGay.
10/30/2008
04:05

How to Be a Maverick
The Colbert ReportS4

Not everyone is born a maverick, but luckily it's a skill you can learn.
11/03/2008
03:06

Charlie Cook
The Colbert ReportS4

Charlie Cook explains voters want to follow the election, and polls are how you keep score.
11/03/2008
03:57

2008 Campaign Winners and Losers
The Colbert ReportS4

If the issue can't be boiled down to three syllables, it isn't worth screaming.
11/03/2008
00:33

Intro - 11/3/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Who are the real winners in this election? Don't ask Stephen, ask Joe the Plumber's agent.
11/03/2008
06:43

Andrew Sullivan
The Colbert ReportS4

Andrew Sullivan supports Barack Obama because John McCain isn't serious about winning the war on terror.
11/03/2008
01:37

Election Eve Prayer
The Colbert ReportS4

Voting is the most precious personal freedom we have, so please make people choose the candidate Stephen wants.
11/03/2008
00:28

Note to Gorlock
The Colbert ReportS4

Gorlock, if you are watching from your nutrient pod, sell all Stephen's holdings in the scarce rarium mines.
11/05/2008
05:48

The Word - Change
The Colbert ReportS4

Last night we elected a man named Barack Hussein Obama. What part of that doesn't scare you?
11/05/2008
02:58

President Obama
The Colbert ReportS4

The election is a setback for the McCain campaign, but he will come back fighting and take this thing.
11/05/2008
00:31

Intro - 11/5/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Barack Obama has been elected president. Stephen's rage will be historic.
11/05/2008
04:44

ThreatDown - Black Presidents
The Colbert ReportS4

American voters must not watch TV, or they would know that every time a black man is president something terrible happens.
11/05/2008
05:40

Andrew Young
The Colbert ReportS4

Andrew Young gives credit to George W. Bush for setting the table for an Obama presidency.
11/05/2008
05:56

Rachel Maddow
The Colbert ReportS4

Rachel Maddow says the Bush administration has been like hiring a vegan to be your butcher.
11/06/2008
00:30

Intro - 11/6/08
The Colbert ReportS4

The international community weighs in on Obama's victory, but it's in metric, so who cares.
11/06/2008
06:18

Fallback Position - Peter Earnest Pt. 1
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen wants to know the most exotic lady spy Peter Earnest has ever seduced on a mission.
11/06/2008
03:37

Un-American News - Obama Edition
The Colbert ReportS4

Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki declares a national holiday for Barack Obama's victory.
11/06/2008
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