The Colbert Report

Note to Gorlock

Season 4 • 11/05/2008

Stephen asks Gorlock to put all his holdings in low-yield treasury bills.

More

Watching

03:06

Charlie Cook
The Colbert ReportS4

Charlie Cook explains voters want to follow the election, and polls are how you keep score.
11/03/2008
03:57

2008 Campaign Winners and Losers
The Colbert ReportS4

If the issue can't be boiled down to three syllables, it isn't worth screaming.
11/03/2008
00:33

Intro - 11/3/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Who are the real winners in this election? Don't ask Stephen, ask Joe the Plumber's agent.
11/03/2008
01:37

Election Eve Prayer
The Colbert ReportS4

Voting is the most precious personal freedom we have, so please make people choose the candidate Stephen wants.
11/03/2008
06:43

Andrew Sullivan
The Colbert ReportS4

Andrew Sullivan supports Barack Obama because John McCain isn't serious about winning the war on terror.
11/03/2008
05:48

The Word - Change
The Colbert ReportS4

Last night we elected a man named Barack Hussein Obama. What part of that doesn't scare you?
11/05/2008
02:58

President Obama
The Colbert ReportS4

The election is a setback for the McCain campaign, but he will come back fighting and take this thing.
11/05/2008
00:31

Intro - 11/5/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Barack Obama has been elected president. Stephen's rage will be historic.
11/05/2008
04:44

ThreatDown - Black Presidents
The Colbert ReportS4

American voters must not watch TV, or they would know that every time a black man is president something terrible happens.
11/05/2008
05:40

Andrew Young
The Colbert ReportS4

Andrew Young gives credit to George W. Bush for setting the table for an Obama presidency.
11/05/2008
00:28

Note to Gorlock
The Colbert ReportS4

Gorlock, if you are watching from your nutrient pod, sell all Stephen's holdings in the scarce rarium mines.
11/05/2008
05:56

Rachel Maddow
The Colbert ReportS4

Rachel Maddow says the Bush administration has been like hiring a vegan to be your butcher.
11/06/2008
00:30

Intro - 11/6/08
The Colbert ReportS4

The international community weighs in on Obama's victory, but it's in metric, so who cares.
11/06/2008
06:18

Fallback Position - Peter Earnest Pt. 1
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen wants to know the most exotic lady spy Peter Earnest has ever seduced on a mission.
11/06/2008
03:37

Un-American News - Obama Edition
The Colbert ReportS4

Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki declares a national holiday for Barack Obama's victory.
11/06/2008
02:05

Obama's Spider Battle
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen wishes Barack Obama well in his upcoming battle against the giant spider that lives underneath the Capitol.
11/06/2008
01:35

The Obamas Meet the Bushes
The Colbert ReportS4

A real candidate of change would have met President Bush at the Air and Space Museum.
11/11/2008
00:21

Gay-Black Violence
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen tries to quell the violence breaking out between gay people and black people.
11/11/2008
06:25

Proposition 8 Protests - Dan Savage
The Colbert ReportS4

Dan Savage explains that those who voted for Proposition 8 most overwhelmingly were old people.
11/11/2008
06:01

Fallback Position - Peter Earnest Pt. 2
The Colbert ReportS4

Peter Earnest introduces Stephen to a few rectal concealment devices at the International Spy Museum.
11/11/2008
04:52

Kevin Johnson
The Colbert ReportS4

Mayor-elect Kevin Johnson tells Stephen what he plans to do to make Sacramento less unbelievably boring.
11/11/2008
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022