The Colbert Report

Philippe Petit

Season 5 • 01/27/2009

Philippe Petit will never have a tombstone.

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05:21

Ed Young
The Colbert ReportS5

Pastor Ed Young believes more sex will help marriages.
01/26/2009
04:40

Obama's New Science Policy - Chris Mooney
The Colbert ReportS5

Chris Mooney thinks scientists are going to be much closer to Barack Obama than they were to George W. Bush.
01/26/2009
00:30

Intro - 1/26/09
The Colbert ReportS5

An executive order shuts down our secret prisons. Now where will we get our secret license plates?
01/26/2009
05:12

Stephen's Secret Prison
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is forced to release Omar after his secret prison is shut down.
01/26/2009
00:23

1-877-SEAN-930
The Colbert ReportS5

Call 1-877-SEAN-930 if you were offended by anything you heard on tonight's program.
01/26/2009
03:12

Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Report Rumors
The Colbert ReportS5

Bill O'Reilly will not report on rumors of Caroline Kennedy having an affair.
01/27/2009
00:31

Intro - 1/27/09
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama appears on Arab TV and it's not "CSI: Abu Dhabi."
01/27/2009
02:16

Omar Returns
The Colbert ReportS5

If you love something, set it free from the secret prison under your desk.
01/27/2009
05:17

Cheating Death - Lung Health
The Colbert ReportS5

If air with fewer particles will extend your life for five months, logically air with no particles should extend it indefinitely.
01/27/2009
02:31

Al Arabiya Kidnaps Obama
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama is held hostage by a terrorist group calling themselves the Al Arabiya television network.
01/27/2009
06:21

Philippe Petit
The Colbert ReportS5

Philippe Petit isn't courageous -- he's following his passion.
01/27/2009
00:22

Call 1-877-SEAN-930
The Colbert ReportS5

If you're offended by Holocaust deniers call 1-877-SEAN-930.
01/28/2009
00:34

Intro - 1/28/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The House passes the $800 billion stimulus plan. China, could we interest you in a slightly used Oregon?
01/28/2009
05:57

Denis Dutton
The Colbert ReportS5

Denis Dutton says art is a tool for propagating.
01/28/2009
05:51

Countdown to Atomic Disaster - The Wing-Ageddon
The Colbert ReportS5

Watching the Super Bowl without a plate of chicken wings is like making love without a plate of chicken wings.
01/28/2009
00:06

Goodnight Illinois Gov. Patrick Quinn
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight to Illinois Governor Patrick Quinn.
01/29/2009
00:37

Intro - 1/29/09
The Colbert ReportS5

All 177 House Republicans say no to Obama's stimulus package. Shh! Don't tell them they don't control the House anymore.
01/29/2009
07:07

Sport Report - Chicken Wing Spokesman Richard Lobb
The Colbert ReportS5

Richard Lobb has advice for the man who has to choose between frying chicken wings and educating his kids.
01/29/2009
05:37

John Podesta
The Colbert ReportS5

John Podesta believes that in the last nine days Barack Obama has shown he can make progress.
01/29/2009
01:21

Rod Blagojevich Is Impeached
The Colbert ReportS5

Rod Blagojevich is impeached even after appearing on all the talk shows.
01/29/2009
05:24

The Word - The Audacity of Nope
The Colbert ReportS5

If Republicans can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, they'd rather have no economy at all.
01/29/2009
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