The Colbert Report

Goodnight

Season 5 • 03/12/2009

That's it for the Report.

More

Watching

00:12

Stephen's Encore
The Colbert ReportS5

If you clap for 23.5 hours straight, Stephen will come back for an encore.
03/11/2009
00:34

Intro - 3/11/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Republicans turn to a classic novel for inspiration -- 'It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.'
03/11/2009
06:46

Howard Fineman
The Colbert ReportS5

Howard Fineman believes Americans were born and bred to argue.
03/11/2009
05:25

Cheating Death - Legal, Sweat & Pre-Natal Health
The Colbert ReportS5

For those who want custom babies, but can't afford designer prices, Prescott introduces the Build-A-Baby Workshop.
03/11/2009
01:01

Earmarks Abuse Ends Tomorrow
The Colbert ReportS5

Obama announces the end of earmarks abuse, and then signs an appropriations bill containing nearly 9,000 earmarks.
03/11/2009
00:36

Intro - 3/12/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Guess where Stephen's face is showing up now -- besides your grilled cheese sandwiches.
03/12/2009
04:01

Mahmoud's Non-Consensual Endorsement Deal
The Colbert ReportS5

If Iran is going to use Stephen to sell products he hasn't endorsed over there, he'll use Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sell products over here.
03/12/2009
02:06

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Barreleye Fish
The Colbert ReportS5

National Geographic releases footage of a fish that has a see-through head and twitching green sacks of goo for eyes.
03/12/2009
07:51

It Could Be Worse - Simon Johnson
The Colbert ReportS5

Simon Johnson explains why America's economy resembles an unstable, emerging market.
03/12/2009
05:15

Peter Singer
The Colbert ReportS5

Peter Singer urges Stephen to give money to poor people rather than enjoying it himself.
03/12/2009
00:05

Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for the Report tonight.
03/12/2009
02:26

Stephen's Angry Mob Will Crush AIG
The Colbert ReportS5

The government can't stop AIG, but Stephen's angry mob can.
03/16/2009
00:19

Stephen Wants to Hug You
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants to hug every one of you.
03/16/2009
05:00

Better Know a Governor - Mark Sanford Update
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen asks South Carolina's Mark Sanford what barbeque sauce he wants for his last meal.
03/16/2009
05:31

Neil Gaiman
The Colbert ReportS5

Neil Gaiman replaces being scared of dead people with being afraid of living people in his new book "The Graveyard Book."
03/16/2009
00:33

Intro - 3/16/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Your tax money is being spent on executive bonuses. At least it's not going to welfare.
03/16/2009
05:21

The New Deal - Jonathan Chait
The Colbert ReportS5

Jonathan Chait believes the New Deal was successful because it eased people's misery.
03/16/2009
00:23

Persian Gulf Countdown Clock
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is one day closer, or further away, to going to the Persian Gulf.
03/17/2009
03:34

Shout Out - The Colbert Report Overseas
The Colbert ReportS5

The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
03/17/2009
00:32

Intro - 3/17/09
The Colbert ReportS5

How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
03/17/2009
05:04

World of Nahlej - Shmeat
The Colbert ReportS5

PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
03/17/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022