The Colbert Report

Intro - 3/16/09

Season 5 • 03/16/2009

At least your tax money is going to executive bonuses instead of welfare.

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Watching

04:01

Mahmoud's Non-Consensual Endorsement Deal
The Colbert ReportS5

If Iran is going to use Stephen to sell products he hasn't endorsed over there, he'll use Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sell products over here.
03/12/2009
02:06

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Barreleye Fish
The Colbert ReportS5

National Geographic releases footage of a fish that has a see-through head and twitching green sacks of goo for eyes.
03/12/2009
07:51

It Could Be Worse - Simon Johnson
The Colbert ReportS5

Simon Johnson explains why America's economy resembles an unstable, emerging market.
03/12/2009
00:05

Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for the Report tonight.
03/12/2009
05:15

Peter Singer
The Colbert ReportS5

Peter Singer urges Stephen to give money to poor people rather than enjoying it himself.
03/12/2009
02:26

Stephen's Angry Mob Will Crush AIG
The Colbert ReportS5

The government can't stop AIG, but Stephen's angry mob can.
03/16/2009
00:19

Stephen Wants to Hug You
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants to hug every one of you.
03/16/2009
05:00

Better Know a Governor - Mark Sanford Update
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen asks South Carolina's Mark Sanford what barbeque sauce he wants for his last meal.
03/16/2009
05:31

Neil Gaiman
The Colbert ReportS5

Neil Gaiman replaces being scared of dead people with being afraid of living people in his new book "The Graveyard Book."
03/16/2009
05:21

The New Deal - Jonathan Chait
The Colbert ReportS5

Jonathan Chait believes the New Deal was successful because it eased people's misery.
03/16/2009
00:33

Intro - 3/16/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Your tax money is being spent on executive bonuses. At least it's not going to welfare.
03/16/2009
00:23

Persian Gulf Countdown Clock
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is one day closer, or further away, to going to the Persian Gulf.
03/17/2009
03:34

Shout Out - The Colbert Report Overseas
The Colbert ReportS5

The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
03/17/2009
00:32

Intro - 3/17/09
The Colbert ReportS5

How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
03/17/2009
05:04

World of Nahlej - Shmeat
The Colbert ReportS5

PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
03/17/2009
05:51

David Grann
The Colbert ReportS5

David Grann follows the footsteps of an explorer searching for a lost civilization.
03/17/2009
04:20

Colbert Aluminum - Cigar Nubs, Faux Poor & Blixseth
The Colbert ReportS5

Cigars get shorter, the British elite act poor, and Tim Blixseth sells his private island.
03/17/2009
07:10

The Word - Keeping Our Heads
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen propses that CEOs be stripped naked and locked together in a Thunderdome scenario with screaming taxpayer spectators.
03/18/2009
00:31

Intro - 3/18/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.
03/18/2009
03:36

Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFy
The Colbert ReportS5

Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
03/18/2009
00:11

Sam's Club Time
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for time until Stephen runs to Sam's Club and picks up some more.
03/18/2009
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