The Colbert Report

Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Paraphrase

Season 7 • 09/07/2011

Martin Luther King Jr. gets the Reader's Digest treatment on his memorial.

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03:31

Michele Bachmann's Natural Disaster Metaphor
The Colbert ReportS7

In Michele Bachmann's metaphor, God represents the American people, politicians represent themselves, and the hurricane represents the earthquake.
09/06/2011
06:21

Cheating Death - Placebocisers & Vaxamalgam
The Colbert ReportS7

The American Council on Exercise finds that toning shoes offer no benefits, and pharmaceutical companies create two-for-one combination pills to extend their patents.
09/06/2011
05:21

The Word - Happy Endings
The Colbert ReportS7

Since people know how everything ends, they can either worry or they can enjoy the show.
09/06/2011
00:09

Sign Off - Placebocisers
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen puts on Prescott Orthopedics' shin-core toning Placebociser.
09/06/2011
05:26

Tim Pawlenty
The Colbert ReportS7

Tim Pawlenty discusses his reasons for dropping out of the presidential race and endorses Stephen in the 2012 election.
09/06/2011
00:07

Sign Off - Stephen Uses His iPad
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen takes a break from his iPad to say good night.
09/07/2011
05:32

This Weak in National Secowardty
The Colbert ReportS7

Whenever terrorists come up with a new way to attack air travel, the TSA finds innovative ways to overreact, but all that security is about to disappear.
09/07/2011
07:09

Robin Wright
The Colbert ReportS7

Robin Wright believes that, by rejecting extremism, Muslims have created the most important political turning point of the early 21st century.
09/07/2011
03:59

PARRY-with-an-A-GATE! - Day 26 - Update
The Colbert ReportS7

WOI station manager and men's room Emmy fluffer Ray Cole sends an update on the Rick Parry write-in scandal.
09/07/2011
00:34

Intro - 9/7/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Controversy erupts over a DC monument, Des Moines may be hiding something, and Robin Wright discusses her book on the Arab Spring.
09/07/2011
03:24

Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Paraphrase
The Colbert ReportS7

Controversy develops around the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial, and not just because the sculptor mistakenly made him white.
09/07/2011
06:00

Barack Obama's Jobs Speech
The Colbert ReportS7

To reach the unemployed, Barack Obama should deliver his speech when the unemployed are watching TV: at 3 a.m., right after a Slap Chop commercial.
09/08/2011
00:06

Sign Off - Old Milwaukee Beer
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen says good night and sips from his can of Old Milwaukee.
09/08/2011
03:50

Republican Presidential Debate Media Coverage
The Colbert ReportS7

All the 2012 election media coverage until now has been bulls**t, but everything from here out is crucial, life-or-death stuff.
09/08/2011
06:05

Tom Brokaw
The Colbert ReportS7

Tom Brokaw recalls the experience of reporting on the 9/11 attacks and explores how Americans have been shaped by the tragedy.
09/08/2011
04:49

Rick Perry Presents
The Colbert ReportS7

Rick Perry takes on the 800-pound gorilla in the room, being stomped on by the elephant in the room, being ridden by the emperor who has no clothes: Social Security.
09/08/2011
06:09

Diane Sawyer
The Colbert ReportS7

Diane Sawyer discusses the unedited recordings of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, released 50 years after John F. Kennedy's inauguration.
09/12/2011
00:06

Sign Off - Stephen's Mug
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen says goodnight and takes a big swig from his Colbert Report mug.
09/12/2011
04:37

Shopping Griefportunities
The Colbert ReportS7

If Americans can exploit the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks to make a quick buck, it's like hitting the terrorists with economic Jujitsu.
09/12/2011
07:24

Stephen Reports on an Old-Fashioned Hero
The Colbert ReportS7

Newspapers are part of America's past, like buggy whip makers and the middle class, but they still perform an important function.
09/12/2011
02:35

Tea Party Face-Off Preview
The Colbert ReportS7

The real game changer came before the Republican debate, when former candidate Tim Pawlenty stopped by to borrow a cup of airtime from "Fox & Friends."
09/12/2011
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